IN WHOM DO YOU TRUST?

Trust is a very important word to all humans.  According to my Britannica, TRUST is;

1 a: assured reliance on the character, ability, strength, or truth of someone or something b: one in which confidence is placed.

  Most humans spend their whole lives searching for someone they can trust be it a life partner, business partner, friends etc. We all look for someone we can be ourselves with, share our dirtiest secrets and all and know that it’s safe with them and that they’d still want us after knowing our deepest secrets.

  Asides keeping secrets,
it is our belief in people and who they’ve presented themselves as to us. It is belief in their character and the words they tell us. By words I don’t mean mere words, I mean the simple but yet heavy words such as ‘I love you.’ ‘I’ll never leave you.’ ‘I do.’ ‘You can count on me.’ ‘You mean the world to me.’ ‘I’d never lie to you.’ Etc.

  Yes when we believe who they show us they are within the first few months of meeting them, we begin to trust them and relax enough to share ourselves.

  Well, welcome to today’s world of words don’t mean a thing, Divorce is on the high after the many sung ‘I dos’, breakups abound, business partners go rogue, I love you dies fast, I could go on. We live in a very selfish world where people look out for themselves first.

  Well, it’s a natural human instinct, the preservation of self. They don’t think twice about betraying your trust for their own interest.

  Wait, how come I never saw the real them, you ask.  You ponder on Maya Angelou’s words, “If someone shows you who they are the first time, believe them.” You think back to the first time you met them and the months after that and you’re confused how that person and this person are the same person.  It’s called pretence. Most people pretend. Some get off being trusted and being liked. They’d even be the first to share an intimate secret with you such as ; how they were abused as a child, how the love of their life left them, how they keep getting abused and used by people they love, how a friend took advantage of their good nature, etc. They are manipulators and users. They know the best way to get you to like them and get what they want from you be it love, money, attention, and sex, whatever is for you to trust them first. The thing about pretence is it never lasts long, the real person will show up after they get tired of the game.

   Sometimes, you trust the wrong people. Your best friend you trust and tell things to doesn’t trust you to tell you things and has a different best friend that’s not you. So, whatever secret you tell them becomes gist for the real best friend.

  It could be they just have no capability to keep secrets as they are loose tongued.

  They never felt the same about you and you loved them and went all in, they pull out and you end up heartbroken as they walk away without a backward glance.

   They only told you the things they felt you wanted to hear and you believed it and trusted them.

  Sometimes, the person that broke your trust could have been genuine but the human instinct called ‘Me’ always shows up and they think about themselves first at that moment.

  

  Yes, they say trust is important in every relationship. In today’s world where everyone’s all sweet when they meet you and smile without really meaning it, I mean, fakeness abounds, who then should you trust? Do you believe that smile, that proclamation of love and all that or should you just take it with a pinch of salt? Well, don’t just believe in words, believe in actions, they really do speak louder than words. So yeah, pinch of salt and benefit of the doubt. People will always be human no matter how much trust you give them. At one time, they’d disappoint you or themselves.

  If you do trust someone; a best friend, lover or spouse and they betray your trust, it’s not your fault. It doesn’t mean you’re not good enough, you did something wrong for them to betray you or that you’re weak. It shows the kind of person they really are. Make no excuses for people by bringing yourself down. Their betrayal of your trust is a reflection of them. Some would try to pin it on you or come up with excuses of how you made them betray your trust by cheating, walking away, lying, telling your secret to another, defrauding your business etc. It’s them, not you. It’s their flaw, not yours. It’s their mistake, not yours. It will hurt, no doubt. If your trust is betrayed, at least now you know who they are, could be, you dodged a bullet, you know they’re not perfect and you now know what to expect if you don’t want to end the relationship. It also shows you how they see you and if they respect you and care about your feelings.

  It’s hard not to have someone you can count on and trust, when even family can betray you. Humans are humans. Trust but just know that your code of ethics might not be theirs. Your trust should be earned.

  The only human you can trust to not betray your trust is you. If you really need to talk and share your secret with someone that can help, ever heard of God? Even the Bible says to place all your trust in God and not in man.

In whom do you trust?

Thanks for reading my thoughts.