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Friday, March 25, 2016

FEAR OF THE UNKNOWN


           We all go through this stage at one time or the other in life. It is that gnawing sensation at the pit of your belly ,that fast heartbeat brought about by uncertainty, that sweaty palm when you ponder your future, that terrible headache that won’t let you go when you have a life changing decision to make. We all react in different ways to it.
  You cannot say you have never gone through it. Remember that first day at school? Mum said go on and you looked back and realised she was leaving you; you were so scared you started crying because of the fear of the unknown. It was a new environment for you, you did not know anybody and you asked yourself questions; will my teachers like me? Will I make good grades? Will my classmates like me? Will I have friends? How do I settle in?
  You have a great job but you do not like it, it is not your dream job, you decide to give it up to follow your heart.
This is a life altering decision and the anxiety that follows it can be traumatic.
  You were hurt badly in a past relationship, you are about entering a new one but you are so scared the past will repeat itself you eat yourself up with negativity.
  You are about to leave your home base for a new one or a different country entirely and as the departure date draws close so does your fear mount.

It has two phases. 1) The situation was thrust on you by life.
                                2) You decided to take that step.
 We wish at such times that we could see the future and foretell it without having to wait and ponder about what is going to happen. Nevertheless, we cannot. Even if you are a clairvoyant, you cannot see it all. Funny thing is, even if we know the outcome or we are 90% sure about how it will turn out, it only takes 1% of the part unknown to topple it.
 Now, how can one get out of this nervous state? That is the million-dollar question. 
  •    You could treat such situations like a movie. When you watching a new movie you keep your mind open because you can never tell, the movie might just wow you in the end.
  •    You could tell yourself it is like a job interview for a job you wanted or it is an audition. In this stage, you remind yourself that life is a risk and you can never move forward if you sit in one place and do not take risks. It is only natural, you win some and you lose some.
  •    You  could decide/choose to see it as fun, an adventure. You do not have to know what happens, You tell yourself you cannot wait for the new experiences you would garner from it, how exciting.
  •    You  could look at it as a discovery process and say ‘I’ll never know what’s around the corner if I don’t go around it.
  •    You  could remember ‘take one step at a time, there’s no need to rush’ then you slow down. You decide to take each day as it comes, look at the present and let the future worry about itself, You can never tell, You might pick up things in the present that will help you overcome the problem in the future. You cannot jump from 0 to 10, you have to follow the pattern; 1, 2, 3...10.
  •    You could tell yourself ‘stop making a mountain out of a molehill.’ Fear makes the tiniest problem ant into a huge monster. High blood pressure will be the result for nothing, so you should back down.
  •    You  could remember, we fear that which we do not understand. That is a result of ignorance. You try to find out as much as you can about it, You could ask questions then you will realize, the courage seeps back into you to face that fear. It will help you a lot in life. It is like when you hear things about a particular person. ‘He’s not nice.’ ‘He’s this, he’s that.’ You believe it, whenever you meet this person your mind is closed because you’ve passed judgement on him, thanks to the things you heard but if your mind is open ,you find out it’s just not true. It can really help in your dealings with people; You could take them as you see them from your experience with them and not ours.                                                                                                     
      You could question yourself, ‘if I don’t know it, who does?’ then, the answer pops in ‘God knows.’ If you are religious, that is the final bus stop. You pray about it and leave the fear at his door to handle. Alternatively, if you chose you accept that it is fate’s choice to take care of it. Then if you not the religious sort, remember the phrase ‘Que sera sera.’ What will be, will be.' or 'You choose the life you want.' The great philosophers of old asked so many questions that they realized in their personal lives they could not answer it all.
     Do not forget, there is nothing to fear because we only fear what we do not understand.  Thanks for reading my thoughts on it. Cheers!

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