DUDES WHAT DO YOU WANT?

 
   You should have heard my friend, Jude, speak then. He would always go into lectures about how girls liked fronting unnecessarily. He said girls front for long and lose good men. He didn’t see the sense in it, that if you meet a guy you like and he likes you and is asking you out, what are you waiting for? Say yes before you miss out on him. The problem with girls is that they are not honest with themselves, they like stringing guys along. They’d now carry the great guys and put in the friend zone. If you see something you like, you should go for it. He’d now give you an example of a girl in his class, Ofure, whom his friend Lucas was interested in. Lucas tried hard to win Ofure over but Ofure acted uninterested. Everyone knew Lucas liked her but as the days turned into five months of trying to win Ofure, Lucas got tired. Luckily for Lucas, another girl
in their class, Mary caught his eye and he went after her. Mary didn’t front at all. Now, they are dating and Ofure is telling everyone that Mary snatched her boyfriend. Meanwhile she had paid Lucas no mind till he got tired. His eyes would glow as he laughed after reciting the story. He’d continue that times had changed; people go for what they want now.  That he can never date a girl that likes fronting. He likes girls that know what they want, girls with minds of their own. He’d add that his perfect girl will not front.
  Jude meets Chioma. Chioma is beautiful and smart. After less than a month, she said yes to him. Jude was over the moon, telling me how excited he was. I have met Chioma, before and she is pretty perfect. I knew she was crazy about Jude for her to have said yes. Three months later, they broke up. Chioma was devastated and implored I find out why. I asked Jude what happened and he told me she was too easy. That she’s a great girl and all but there was no fun in chasing her that she liked him already and showed it after a while. That it just wasn’t fun. I was shocked.  I knew he told me the truth but I thought he had wanted no fronting.
  Another friend, Femi would go into an angry one-sided series of questions which when summarised was ‘why is every girl into money?’ I have never seen a man so bitter about something. He’d say every girl wants a guy that has money. Why are they not independent? You are not married to a girl yet, if she wants to buy a phone she will turn to you, if she wants to go back to school she will turn to you for money, if she wants to fix her hair and nails she asks you, if she wants to buy airtime you are the airtime machine and it has to be a large amount of it, even to feed and buy her underwear, you do everything. That the role of a boyfriend has turned into that of a husband, a provider. That it is annoying. Men and women work today, so why can’t a woman be independent. Of course, he can buy his woman things and take care of her but it should be if he wants to. All these little girls that go about asking for money are not real modern women. He will only date an independent woman. A woman that is working, can fend for herself, can support her man and knows her worth.
  Femi meets Bunmi. He was happy; she was beautiful, learned and independent. Bunmi has her own company. I have never met a woman more humble. You wouldn’t even know she owns a company and has a PhD as young as she is. Months later, Femi broke up with her saying that she is a man and not a woman. He went on that she made more money than he did, she owns a PhD while he has just his Bachelor’s. She was too independent and doesn’t need him for anything. That she even bought him a more expensive gift for his birthday, even though he had been singing about wanting that wristwatch.  I didn’t know what to say to him.
  Emeka would go on and on about how every girl was promiscuous. That the last girl he dated, taught him a trick in bed that she learnt from her last boyfriend. That most girls go about comparing in their heads. How can girls, have slept with ten guys each? That’s just absurd. Let’s not go into how many girls Emeka has slept with. That most girls have committed an abortion or two.  That he can’t trust any of them. That he must get married to a virgin. That he must find one. Well, he did.  Emeka met Claire. I didn’t believe she was one,she was educated, beautiful  and independent. Weeks later, he came to us complaining that he had made a mistake. He said Claire was a sack in bed, she couldn’t do anything. A friend asked him to teach her that she obviously has no knowledge and Emeka said he wasn’t a teacher that why would he, Emeka have to teach a girl how to do it.
  The examples are like the sands of the earth. They say women are confused and don’t know what they want, that we are babies. Please from the little examples above what do you think? Dudes are very much the most confused of the human species.  They say they want this kind of girl, they get it and they lose interest and say it is the girl’s fault. I know most women out there have met some confused brother at one point in their life. Please care to share. Aren’t men, not generally though, the most confused set of people you have ever met? For the men reading this, please what do men want? Before you say you want something are you at least 80% sure you really want it or are you just going through a confused phase and will change your mind tomorrow? Confused men are everywhere and I don’t know about you, that hot and cold attitude is off putting. Hence, you see why women put up fronts and play all sorts of games and try different tactics because they think it is what men really want.
So, I ask once more from the brothers reading this article of mine to tell us. Dudes, what do you want?