The Age factor!

          

  This is an old post but after a conversation with a friend I had to revisit it , modify it and put it up again.
   Age to me is a matter of numbers. In the past, the age of a man was regarded as the measure of that man. Too much emphasis was placed on being elder or younger. Even wills were written reflecting on age because the eldest takes over when the father dies. Is it meant to be that way? Is it not better to give the property to your child you know will carry your business to the next level? Nevertheless, the age factor comes in.
    Even in relationships, the age factor has always been an issue. You see a couple so in love but because the man is old enough to be the girl’s father, the parents refuse. The scenario is worse if the woman
is older than the man is, the parents of the man, especially the mother will fight tooth and nail to prevent such a union. They will call her a cougar.
     I did a little survey amongst me friends. I asked my female friends between the ages of 18-27, if they will date a man younger than they were, you should have seen the vehemence with which they replied me. They all said NO!  One said, even if the guy was a month her junior, she would not date him. Please, what is with the preference for older men? Another friend said if you marry or date a younger man that you as a woman will age faster and he will be looking younger and will decide to go after younger women because to him you would be an old cargo. It all sounds very cruel but where did we get all this notions from? The society consisting of our parents, our culture, the extended family, our peer and the media has fed it to us. We believe it with all our hearts.
      Society does not spare unmarried people who are of a certain age. If you are a man and you are heading towards 40, the kind of pressure and malicious remarks that will be heaped on you to get married will make you rush and marry to have some peace. If you are over 40 and you have shown no sign of getting married, they will give up on you and write you off as a fag. If you are a woman and you are over 30 and not married, the story is different from that of the men. There will be a kind of stigma and pity attached to you as though you were suffering of AIDS. In Africa, you are dead meat, better go build a hut in a forest and live there. The stigma, judgement, nasty remarks from people both young and old is enough to make you beg God to take your life.
      There was a story I heard of a woman of 35, the pressure was on her to get married. She had a business of her own. She was rich and well known. Well, lots of men were not comfortable with this. ( a topic for another day or visit the HAVING IT ALL post) Luckily, she met a man and they fell in love but her parents would not let her marry him because he was 33 and vice versa. Na wa oh! Should not the important factor in the relationship be understanding and respect, What you feel for each other? You wonder why we have lots of unmarried women in the society today, this is part of it. The men feel because the women are rich and working what more could they want plus they would never listen to their husbands. 
    Please forget the 'Cougar' term that society calls women who date younger men. Love is a rare and beautiful thing and comes in different packages. It's better to be with a younger man and be happy and fulfilled than to bend to the will of society and stay with an older man and die before your time. By the way who stated or made the law that a woman should be with an older man? This was made by a society ruled by men, who wanted young ,nubile girls for wives because they were felt young girls were naive, easy to control, untested if i can use that term and they believed that younger women and they got married pretty early then ,could bear more children. The men indulged in getting married to many wives no matter their age, whenever it fancied them especially if it was a man with means. A man of sixty could get married to a girl of seventeen or younger. Any lady who didn't bow to this was termed an old maid and on the shelf. Well, times have changed. We don't get married so early, so why should the same laws constrict us? Open your mind and take love where it comes from, your happiness should come first. the society will always judge you but will they be the ones to live in that house with you for the rest of your life till you die? Will they try to understand you and make you happy when you cry, listen to you? let them judge and talk but don't listen to them because they won't live your life for you nor do they care.Think of you. Yes , it sounds selfish but it is your life, if you make 'what will people say?' your bible then get ready to end up sad.
Even nature is guilty; Puberty is at this age and menopause is at that age.
       Please someone should tell me what is with the age factor anyway. Are we as a society so scared of doing things that we allow age to cover for us? Does age really determine when one is emotionally and psychologically mature? I do not think so because you can find a boy of 14 behaving like a man of 26 and vice versa. So what is with the age factor that we allow age to decide for us where we should be or should not be, what we should do and shouldn’t do and also who we should be or shouldn’t be? Whom we should be with and should not be with .What do you think?