Heart and Love: LOVE AND JEALOUSY

  Ije had had her bad luck with men. She’d seen them all and she was tired. Luckily ,Love wasn’t done with her. Jesse came along and they fell madly in love. Ije couldn’t believe it. He was perfect. Everything she’d always wanted in a man. That little voice in her head kept her looking for warning signs. Jesse was handsome and the ladies loved him. He loved to socialise and the ladies swarmed round him like bees every time.  Jesse was madly in love with Ije, she was the only woman he had asked out. He always looked for ways to get away from the women to get to her. Ije didn’t know all these. Certain women amongst them made more serious moves. Ije began to wonder if there was something going on between one or two of them and Jesse. Her mind went wild with it. She tried hard not to show it. She didn’t doubt him nor mistrust him but she was scared. She wondered if he was going to leave her for one of them, if she wasn’t interesting enough. She tried hard not to let it bother her. She didn’t know if asking him straight up was the answer or finding a way to table it.
  Every time without planning it, the questions would slip "When last did you speak to her?" "Are you guys such close friends?"  "When last did you see her?" Jesse didn’t understand she wasn’t questioning his fidelity but her insecurities from her past relationships were catching up with her. He never helped matters; he never reassured her as a woman should be that she was his number one.
 The questions kept coming every time. Jesse got angry with her. He felt she really didn’t trust him.

  Jealousy is no respecter of person. You’d see men and women from the different strata of society that go through their partner’s things. They try to read between the lines. They follow their partners around. If a member of the opposite sex so much as smiles at their partners their antennae goes up and the suspicions start building in their minds.

  Jealousy is human nature. We are made in God's image after all. But i think there is healthy and unhealthy jealousy. How you let the jealousy consume you is what matters. That someone else pays attention to your partner doesn’t mean your partner is cheating unless your partner is the doer. Even then, they might just be friends. Healthy jealousy makes you realise your partner is a catch and you don't doubt their trust. It makes you sit up and be a better partner. Unhealthy jealousy, starts destroying that trust, introducing suspicions and weird behaviour on your part.

  If someone else finds your partner attractive and fun to be with, you should be singing ‘isn't she lovely, isn't she...’ because she comes home to you at night, he does same, you are the person she spends Valentine with, the person she tells her worries and vice versa. It should even make you grateful that this person chose you and make you treat your partner better and not take them for granted. Keep them interested, maybe you’ve grown too comfortable and you don’t look sexy anymore,you don’t bath for a day, you wear the baggies more,you are growing a pouch mister ,you don’t give it like you used too and you don’t go out on dates. Wake up before the new friend they got innocently wakes them up first.
  If you are the one with the jealous partner, then thank your stars your partner still likes you enough to get jealous. When you should really get worried is when they don’t bat an eyelid at all. Maybe you tell him you’re going out for drinks with a man ,even if it’s a business drink and he doesn’t ask who and where you going and vice versa, then you should just pack your bags and leave. No human being no matter how logical, strong and all that doesn’t get jealous, no matter how hard they try to hide it, when it comes to the man or woman they are in love with.
  You could help kill the jealousy by reassuring your partner (yes ,they are human). Introduce them to this person and all. That you love them doesn’t mean they shouldn’t have friends of your sex.

  Ermm, if it gets physical or obsessive this jealousy of theirs, it is time to run for your life if the reassuring and all else doesn’t work.  If you are a woman and he raises his hands on you every time you smile at another man or talk to one, take off your heels and run for your life. That is unhealthy jealousy and it is not your fault. If they expect you not to talk to or be friends with people of a gender different from yours then that's unhealthy.

  We all get a little bit jealous sometime. This brings me to my pondering. If you are jealous will you tell your partner? Won’t you be scared that they’d think you don’t trust them? Don’t you also think they’d take advantage of your feelings if they knew how jealous you were? Won’t you be thought of as small minded and petty and lose respect before their eyes? Is telling them healthy? I know as the writer, I should have answers to all these for you but  would love to hear from your personal experiences and thoughts. So, which of the above would you think and do? Have you ever been jealous?

Thank you for reading my thoughts. What are yours?

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