Wednesday, October 23, 2013

SINGLE+NOT IN A RELATIONSHIP = ABNORMAL


  Have you ever been single for three months? By being single I mean, not having a boyfriend or a girlfriend? Today, we have serial daters. The thought of being single to them is equal to being alone and a failure. They need to be in a relationship. They need to have somebody to hold. They need somebody to tell them what to do. They need to be able to say ‘yes I have a partner.’ That’s the new breed today.
  You might even be dating one of them. You could ask your partner when their last relationship ended and the one before that. You’d notice the time frame. They see being single and not married as a death sentence. Even if they are not married, they have to be in a relationship at least. It makes them feel beautiful, handsome and powerful, to be part of a couple, to have somebody. You can ask why they feel this way. We’ve been told since forever that as a woman you need a man and as a man you need a woman too. Successful men and women have partners. It shows you are special when you have someone that cares about you and you are exclusive with. On Valentine’s Day and on Christmas day, you have to spend such holidays with your partner. On your birthday, there has to be a partner to wow you on that day. To them not being a relationship means there is something wrong with them and that they are not desirable.
  Well, can you blame them? Today, when it’s believed everyone should have a partner, if you are not married and you get asked the question;
‘Do you have a boyfriend?’
  You are female and you say NO. They begin to wonder and analyse you. They tell you it’s not possible and that you are not married yet so you shouldn’t be single. You need a man. Maybe you are too headstrong. Every man wants a woman that is this and that. They go on and on. Your not being in a relationship has been painted as a bad thing. Then you rush into the next available arms, whether you like them or not. It might lead to a marriage with that person and then it ends in a divorce, which I might add is on the rise today.
  If you can’t live alone with yourself, be independent till you meet the person you like enough to stop being independent with and share the buck load, then you have a problem. Do you flit from one relationship into another in days? You have never been alone, you date every day. You end one relationship and don’t give yourself time to be alone and you jump right into the next one? STOP! Slow down. Relationships won’t fill up the neediness you are feeling. Learn to be by yourself. If you can’t stand being by yourself, how do you expect another human being to stand being with you?
  If you are single, there’s nothing wrong with it. You keep going about your business and fulfilling your destiny. If the people around you can’t see how special you are enough to ask you out, it’s because them the wrong folks, the right one that can see you is on the way.  Enjoy your life and live it till then. Believe me, if you rush in, you’d regret it in the end. You don’t need a man or a woman to help you boost your confidence nor make your life better. If you decide to stop being single and enter into a relationship let it be for the right reasons.  You met a great but not perfect person like you that you’d like to get to know.
  If you have a friend that is never single, help them out. If you are single; there is nothing wrong with you. You are strong and confident. Someone will notice the excellent features someday and want to share in your life, if you get that, awesome.  You decide to be happy, only you can make you happy, so live your life like it’s golden. Being single, doesn’t make you a monster nor does it mean you are lonely and alone. It is your choice. If you choose to be single and wait nothing wrong in that. You’re being quirkyalone.
Or what do you think, is it a crime to be single and not in a relationship?



4 comments:

  1. I don't thnk is true. Somtimes u need to clear ur head nd kw actually wat u want b4 goin into anoda relationship.

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    1. My thoughts exactly, you are right, Cherish. We need space and time to breathe sometimes. Thanks for dropping a word. Cheers!

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    2. We can't rule out the fact that our emotions sometimes pricks us when some of us are single, and especially when our closest friends r sweet-talking about their bfs or gfs all d time. Trust me that'd make u as a human want to b in a rship. However, I quite concede to the statement that the need to be in a r/ship is on the high side lately, and jumping into one without weighing in on it b4 taking ur decision is just not right. Selflove is priceless#.

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  2. Well written article Frances. These were my thoughts exactly as a single lady. You don't need a partner to make you happy or confident or beautiful/handsome. You can be all that and more as a single person. Your life is yours to live and yours alone. I admit that the right relationship can make things more wholesome but the wrong ones can be hellish too.

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