Friday, July 26, 2013

UNREQUITED LOVE 2


An unrequited love can affect your whole life. You will never forget it. It can affect your way of thinking, emotions, relationships, beliefs, actions and the list goes on. So, then how do you get over an unrequited love? What are the procedures?
· Accept it and yourself- it is not your fault. Love is a beautiful thing when reciprocated and we don’t tell our hearts whom to fall for or do we? (To be taken up in another post.) Understand it; it is not usually a conscious decision. They just do not love you.
· Distance- out of sight is out of mind applies in this case. Time heals all wounds plus distance. Do not call or anything. Make yourself scarce. Distance yourself from them, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Tell me it is harsh or it is the coward’s way. I have grown to realise, if I do not hear from nor see the person, I do not feel it, it dies and you can dedicate your time to yourself and meet new people you would never have seen because there is no thought of waiting for the person you love, when they are not in your life. I cannot emphasise this more. It worked for me.
· Enjoy life- learn to enjoy life without them. Be single and free. Discover yourself.
· Neediness- kill every spirit of neediness you have. You do not need another human being to be happy. Placing your happiness on them has made them important, so, they use it and take your for granted. You and not others can only determine real happiness for you. Believe me; it comes from self-love and respect. When you love yourself, you can love another. If, you love yourself, you would not put yourself through this.
· If you love them, set them free and be happy for them even if they do not love you. Remember, it is not their fault.
· Boundaries- if you want to stay just friends stay that way. Be honest and straight to the point. Do not lead people on, so clarify those boundaries. Do not say I love you then later change your mind. Be sure of what you want. Let it be known that you are not out for romance. ( well if you can stay friends, I possibly can't after I have been led on but if it is your thing do it but don’t do it with a hope of if this person is mine crap. Squash it like a bug!)
The truth is when you know who you really are. You would never stand for this. When you know your worth and understand the basic home truth about you and that, always someone better will come along and feel the same way you feel about them. So, take my advice and discover who you are, it helps in the decisions we have to take in life. I leave you with these words.

Let no one who loves be called unhappy. Even love unreciprocated has its rainbow.
- James Matthew Barrie

4 comments:

  1. Like ur article....but d funniest aspect is dat it is d girls dat suffer d most, fall 4 d same old tricks, d guys play....i used to tell my younger sis years ago "girls has fish brain" [sorry 2 all d ladies bt its d truth]. they feel they can change a guy dat has been "bad" 4 hw many yrs of his life. Guys use dem and dump dem..its like a continious cycle...wud the ladies ever ever wake up! we use d same tricks and modify dem again [remix dem]. u marry a man dat turns u to a punching bag..believin u wud change him; u marry a man dat has xtra marital affairs, beliving u wud change him...NEVER! stop playing Jesus...he is d one dat changes pple..u are nt d messaih sent....ladies WAKE UP!

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  2. Thanks anonymous! that coming from a male perspective i hope they caught on. Not only females but males too, ppl in love tend to have fish brains in the sense that they see the faults and pray n believe it will change with time plus the love they give. They never realise that only people can decide to change individually, you can't make them.

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  3. Nice one Frances!In as much as people have fish brain when their in love that doesn't mean they lose their sense of reasoning or judgment. Failure to point out the lapses and tell one's self the truth has always been the problem. Mostly i feel self worth has to do a lot with what one is willing to accept.

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  4. Good one Frances! You are right on the money.

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