Saturday, April 18, 2015

EGGS IN A BASKET

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iwrtEiq1CN4/Tc-85squ3nI/AAAAAAAAACA/X3tvuYihJsk/s320/egg-basket.jpg



   What do I mean by eggs in a basket? It does not mean when you carry actual chicken eggs and put them all in a basket. It is an idiom. They say, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.' the reason is , if you drop that basket all your eggs would break at once. It’s one expression lots of people take to heart. It is used aptly these days in relationships. It is a case of uncertainty and insecurity if you ask me but it is also a case of being smart. I owe you a story, so here it is;
   Dupe is a banker with one of the new generation banks in Lagos. She meets Lekan, who is an insurance broker. They fall in love and start a serious courtship. 
   One day, 
Lekan’s boss tells him he has to move to Abuja and start up a branch for the company there. He moves to Abuja thereby creating a distance between him and Dupe. They get to see once in three months though they talk on phone constantly. Lot of guys come up to her and ask her out but she refuses because she loves Lekan. One day, she wakes up and decides.

'it’s not worth it waiting for one man, It’ll be better for me to have another boyfriend here just in case Lekan decides to leave me, I’ll have someone else to fall back on besides time is not on my side, I’m not getting any younger. Henry must be right. Besides, look at what happened to Lillian who waited for her fiancé in the US for three years faithfully, only for him to come back with a wife.'

Prior to that day, she had a discussion with a male friend, Henry whose friend had been asking her out. Henry had said to her ;

'Do you know what he’s doing over there? Moreover, you are here fooling yourself. Abuja girls are something else o. I am a guy so I know what I am saying. You are a lady; you need someone to take care of you, to give you that attention. I am not saying you should dump Lekan and get another boyfriend. Just get a surrogate, in case your guy fucks you up, you will not feel the loss. To put all your eggs in one basket is sheer stupidity. Nobody does that anymore in this present age. you have to be smart or else, you'd lose out on both ends. You are my friend and i won't deceive you Shine your eyes, babe.'

   That serious doubt had been planted and in the bid of not wanting to feel hurt and losing out in the end, she decides to do as advised. The amazing thing about it is that the second guy will be aware that she has a guy but goes ahead. Hmmmn! If you were this second bloke, it gets to the situation where her first guy leaves her, and she decides to make you her first guy, what would you think? Won’t that nagging thought that she would do the same to you make you get another girl and not even take her serious? If this occurs, why should we blame the bloke for distributing his eggs after what he saw?
It is not only the distance thing that causes this syndrome. Your bloke or girl might be in the same state with you and you have another in that same state too due to greed. What you are not getting from number 1, you are getting from number 2. Therefore, insecurity is not the only cause. Do I really blame these sisters and brothers for doing what they do? No, I do not. Nobody wants to feel like a fool and go through heartbreak after giving his or her all to the relationship. 
   Nevertheless, what happened to sticking to one man or woman? I am not talking of marriage. I mean putting all of one’s eggs in one basket and watching that basket.
I carried out a little survey and discovered how most men and women view long distance relationships;
According to Chike, 26; 'Women are the weaker sex, they need attention and to be taken care of'
Daniel, 23, says ' It is the wise thing to do. You know how we blokes are it is in our nature. It’s not cheating.'
Dennis, 30, says ' Babe, body no be firewood. No time to dull. 
Udeme, 21, 'I tried it with a girl in another uni but she was dating some other guy while i was turning down girls for her. It hurt me. Never doing it again. 
Martins, 35 ' Life is short my dear. I need to have fun while i can.'
 Flora, 21 'Why would I have one boyfriend? I am not stupid. one person cannot provide me with everything. I have two. One is romantic, a good guy and the other is a bad guy, sex with him is better than with the first.'
Nene, 25  'In this age of cheating, even marriages don't survive. No man is to be trusted. That's for stupid women.
Lola, 30,  'Which kind yeye love be that one. A friend of mine tried it and got the shocker of her life.
 Tolu, 27  ‘No, not for me. One man at a time. I don’t have the time to maintain one not to talk of two.' 


   I think that one’s yes should be one’s yes. The fact that you do not know what he or she is doing does not mean you should do such. What happened to having at least 70% trust in your partner? To be in love or in a relationship with one person does not mean that you are stupid. It shows you are brave. Why go into one at all if you cannot trust a little? Besides, it is a fact that not all relationships must lead to marriage. You have to work on yourself first, build your confidence, manners and all that if you want a relationship because it takes a whole lot of time, commitment, work and sacrifice for one to succeed.
   Human beings are complex; you can't know one completely in ten years. You could get married to one you think you know and years down the line, the person turns into a stranger and you realize, you never knew them.
   All relationships are risks and not all risks succeed. That does not mean we should be afraid of risking everything on one person. If you want someone to look at you and think you're worth it, why can't you look at them and think same,  Life itself is a risk. Well, what do I know, just my thoughts on it. Cheers!

9 comments:

  1. We are all just acting...

    ReplyDelete
  2. It's an interesting piece but I think we all need to think about what we want to be known for as a person in itself. Using the 'egg idiomatic expression', we need to realize that not all eggs that are placed in a basket would be good. There is a saying that goes, "your omelette is as a result of the type of egg you have". I believe in this contest, it means that the various people you pick as a mean of being 'smart' just because you and your man are not in the same state or environment would eventually begin to affect your personal well being. If you take a good egg and mix it with a bad egg, the bad eggs would definitely override the good and you are left with a bad omelette. I think it's better to stick with one good guy who would help you, support you, advice you correctly, and vice versa. In a nutshell, let's be sure all our eggs are good!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks Dear for your comment. You are right, bad egg always corrupts or makes bad good egg.Being sure of the eggs we have is the key. your comment is really appreciated.

      Delete
  3. Nice one n yeah S̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴̴̴͡ true.its d era of having more dan one relationship.pple do Ȋ̝̊̅† to protect themselves from being hurt n unlike d scenario u painted most times d other party doesn't know dey r not d only ones cos pple have learnt to be very good at deception.not saying its right but its a defence mechanism

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hmmmn, so true, som ppl don't know dey r the back up guy. Pity, our world is now one of games and deception. It's a natural human survival instinct to protect oneself from getting hurt but life itself is a risk, so are relationships, we always hope for the best and work for it but as they say ' you win some and you lose some.' it's same in every sphere of life.

      Delete
  4. I am a living testimony, I used to date dis guy and he was d only man in my life but wat did I get(betrayal). So my advice is not to put all ur eggs in one basket.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. So sorry love but it would be terrible if you let this loser that hurt you win. he'd win by you changing from the sweet faithful lady you are to one full of insecurities and fear. i know it's hard and it hurts but that it failed with him doesn't mean it won't work with someone else. Please, one man's meat is another man's poison dear. Keep being you or you myt end up missing out on the person you should have because you changed and turned bad like your ex. Just look before you leap, love is a risk, so is every relationship. Wish you the best ,love.

      Delete
  5. honesty is almost non existent these days, u can be honest and truthful to one person, but u will never know wats on ur partners mind. but i agree with not putting all my eggs in one basket, took me 2 r/ships to realise that.

    ReplyDelete
  6. hmmn,dat odas r dishonest doesn't mean we should join the bandwagon. It can b frustrating standing alone though but all eggs can't be bad. I'm sorry for the experiences you had. It means they were wrong for you and not because you were honest. your being dishonest wouldn't v kept them for a lifetime nor made you happy too. There'd be someone that appreciates that honesty. Well, we can't really tell what's in another person's mind but we can tell the kind of person they are by their words n more importantly their actions. Cheers dear, there's still honest in the world.

    ReplyDelete

Drop your thoughts here.