Friday, July 24, 2015

THE OTHER'S VIEW


 As humans we have various factors that shape our perception. It ranges from family background, environment, books read, things seen and experienced to our friends. In every topic, no matter how popular a particular view is, there is always a minority that disagrees with the popular view.
If everyone had the same views then we’d never have arguments and discussions as we all try to push our view as the right view.
  Yes, we humans love our views and to most their views are right. Arguments and discussions are a great way to learn and discover how people reason or what they think about things. 
Ok, I always love stories, so here’s a brief one;
               
Stella and Janet chew on their popcorn as they continue their gist about Tolu’s wedding. Immediately, Janet’s phone beeps. She takes a look at it and laughs.
‘Babe, na wetin na?’ Stella asks, curious.
Janet still laughing reads it out;
‘You and your man are walking down the street and a stranger taps your bum. Ladies what would you want your man to do? Fellas, what would you do?’
‘Oya na , Janet what do you want Femi to do?’
‘Defend me as my man, of course.’ Janet shouts excitedly.
‘As for me, I’ll definitely turn back and punch the guy.’ Stella says, mouth filled with popcorn.
‘Stella, what are you saying?  That’s what your man is for.’ Janet’s eyes nearly pop out in disbelief.
‘It’s more of a reflex action. I didn’t learn karate for nothing.’
Janet drops the popcorn in her hand back into the bowl slightly offended. ‘What then is your man there for? You have to wait for him to make a move first. If he doesn’t then you do.’
‘Like I said, I’ll punch him out of reflex.’
Janet adjusts on the seat. ‘That’s the problem with you. You’re a woman. Your man’s role is to protect you not yours.’
Stella looks at Janet confused. ‘That’s what I’d do. You’re Janet, I’m Stella.’
‘The way you reason is not good. So if you have a man in the house, you’ll go and carry your gen and put it on? Act like the woman that you are. That’s what any woman would do, let him defend her.’ Janet’s voice rose.
‘How’s that working out for them?’ Stella retorts.
‘Stella, why you taking it personal?’
‘Janet, it’s what I, Stella would do.’
‘It’s wrong!! Your reasoning is weird. It’s not good.’  Janet responds in full combatant mode.

  Ok, I’ll end it there.  It’s very easy for a discussion to turn from an exchange of views into a trial of character with; ‘That’s the stupidest thing I’ve ever heard? ‘, ‘who reasons like this?’, ‘what planet are you from?’, ‘that’s the problem with you?’, ‘you need to change your reasoning.’ I could go on and on. It turns into disrespect of not just views but of the person with the views. Even if we’re certain that the person’s views are wrong and can be damaging to them, we can tell or show them without disrespecting them.
  We also forget that people have a choice of keeping their views to themselves but they made a decision to share it with us. That is enough reason not to disrespect them. If they didn’t share you wouldn’t know to put them on trial for it.
  Let me not even go into how some people who feel they are grand guardians of the Bible, Quran, society, etc talk to and treat those they feel are stepping outside what they feel is right. There are better ways of doing things, really.
  I know a dude that dropped a friend because every time a discussion came up, the friend made him feel like there was something wrong with him, he got tired. I don’t blame the guy. If you can’t air your views freely to friends who can you air them to?
  Be they friend, acquaintance, foe, you should treat their views how you’d like yours treated, no disrespect to self. Unless it’s your nine year old daughter telling you there’s nothing wrong with her having sex and getting an abortion. Lol! Cheers!


Saturday, July 11, 2015

IT’S NONE OF MY BUSINESS A.K.A e no concern me.

  When asked,’What is the problem with Nigeria?’ every man on the street would tell you ‘our leaders’ ‘bribery and corruption’. True, we all agree but do you know the root of this problem, the cankerworm we are battling in this country? I hope you’d understand in a bit.

  As a little boy, John was told by his mum when he pointed out that his friend; Sean had no sandals ,to mind his business. Anytime, little John spoke to his mum about their neighbours she’d tell him to mind his business that he and members of his family should be his only concern. As a strapping lad of fourteen, the local chemical plant was up in flames and John fetched a bucket to go help out, his mum cried and begged him. ‘My son, do you want to kill yourself because of another man’s company? It’s not your father that owns it. There is no member of our family in that fire. If you die they will not care. It’s none of our business, it doesn’t affect us in any way, and so, why do you want to die?’ John sat back at home. The local chemical plant burnt down.

 At school, John would see his mates during exams bring in their notebooks and pay the teachers to teach them in the hall. His friend, Tayo came to meet him for them to go report to the Principal. He remembered his mother’s steady words. He told Tayo, no, that it was none of their business; theirs was to pass their papers too. If others chose to use that means, it was their business and by reporting them they’d get into trouble with their teachers. Tayo sat back down. In his final year at school, John, Tayo and some friends decided they were going to break louvers and some school property to mark their graduation. A friend of theirs reminded them to think about the juniors that would need those same things they planned to destroy. John told him it was their business and not his, that he’s living his life to the fullest.

  John’s mum was in the crowd when a group of young boys were branded thieves, like the many others in the crowd, she didn’t open her mouth because to her ‘Thank God my son is not one of them. Poor boys! Well, it’s none of my business. I don’t know any of them.’ This thought of hers was the same thought, every single woman, man and child had there.  She went back home thanking God her son was not there.

  Little John enters the University, the lecturers ask them to pay money before they pass their papers, John pays his, when he is approached by some fellow students to follow them to the dean’s office, he tells them it’s none of his business. He gets into the faculty parliament. He sees what the parliamentarians are doing wrong that affects other students, he looks the other way. It has nothing to do with him, it doesn’t affect him and he’s getting paid for each sitting. The affected people should deal with their business.  The school asks for cultists that killed a professor of the school, John knows one of them but he reasons. ‘The man is not my father, uncle nor brother. I don’t know him or any of his family members, besides, Uyoma gives me protection. It’s all none of my business.

  John graduates, gets a job and rises fast. A post opens up in his company, a government outfit, an uncle sends his son who is the least qualified candidate and John gives him the job. To John, it’s in the family, he knows none of the other candidates, and it’s none of his business. The new employee comes in and they cart money away meant for public use to take care of their family. Do they know who the public is and how is that their business?  They laugh over drinks.

  John gets married and has kids. He pays his way in his office and gets a promotion to Abuja. His son, John Jr is not so bright, John pays the teachers to up his grades. He’s cheating nobody and helping his son, that’s his business. John joins a political party and gets into the House of Representatives. He looks out for himself and his family really well. What’s his business with the public? Who are they to him? A foreign company needs rights for their new aviation line. The planes are old planes. John helps them out and they commence business. John buys a house in London and moves his family down there. A company comes they want the contract for road construction, John helps them out. He hears the roads are horrible. Well, he and his family don’t go by road so what’s his business.

  Yes, multiply one John with over 140,000,000 Johns and then you get the problem with Nigeria. No one cares to make a statement, take a stand as long as it doesn’t concern them. The people sing the problems are the leaders. Blame goes both ways. You reading this post are the problem, I writing I’m the problem, the cobbler down the street is the problem, your hairdresser is the problem, every single Nigerian home or in the Diaspora, we are the problem. Little drops of water make a mighty ocean is so true with the Nigerian problem. Our leaders are a tiny fragment of it. Every man for himself. We practise the O.Y.O (on your own) system very well. We don’t do anything unless we have something to gain. We can’t even help our neighbour because he is not family. I sit up and see my generation scream, the old generation is the problem, I look at what we do, the level of depravity, the thrifty habits, the death of some languages /culture because of the encroachment of westernization which should be a good thing and our habits, our self-centred, crowd mentality disease and I look inside my mind for an image of the future in my time and I cringe but then I smile because I know some good young people too. We and only we can change the Nigerian problem by changing ourselves and the little world around us. So, start by sharing in that blame and look to the solution, reach out and lend a hand to your neighbour. Nigeria, is not an individual or a group of individuals, she is made up of different people and hearts, over 140,000,000 of them, irrespective of their tribe and religion.
  It is my business, yours and theirs. E concern all of us.

Friday, July 3, 2015

TOUGH TIMES

  It’s been ten years and a child has eluded Nike like the elixir of life. She’s tried everything. Her in-laws give her hell. Neighbours call her barren, even her friends; laugh at her behind her back. 

  Pounding the pavement is an understatement in Jeff’s case, he’s broken the pavement. Four years after graduating with a first class and still no job experience to add to his resume. His bank account is in red. In his pocket is the last money he has; a lone fifty Naira note, given to him by a sympathetic akara seller in his neighbourhood.

  Jane has gone from one relationship to the other. They all ended badly. ‘
“Doesn’t true love exist anymore?”
She asks herself as she attends yet another friend’s wedding. Age thirty is around the corner. Her parents are getting worried. Well, so is she.

  To everyone, Dotun is super lucky. He’s handsome, rich, uber successful. Unknown to them there’s pain behind the smile. He has cancer. The doctors have given him just a year.

  Samuel moves from one audition venue to the other. The judges are always impressed with his performance.
“Wow! That was really good.”
He goes home but never ever gets a call back. It’s been six months since his last gig.

I don’t know the hurricane you’re going through right now.  It doesn’t just rain around you, it pours and you can’t take it anymore.
As a believer, irrespective of your religion, there will be trials that test your faith. 
You wonder why God is letting it happen.
Remember the story of Job in the bible. The devil looked at Job and said to God. (Pardon my improvisation)
“Big G, he’s praising you because he’s got it all smooth.  Let me at him a lil.”
“Show me what you’ve got” God tells him.
The devil so dealt with Job that death seemed like mercy but Job stood with God. God told the devil it was enough and went on to bless Job with multiples of all he had lost.

Some things you should know: 
God loves you, even if it looks otherwise. 
He will never give you more than you can handle. He sees you.
He wants to use your situation so others will look at your overcoming it and praise His name.
Even if friends desert you, God won’t.
He’s listening, call on him.
  Whatever your trial may be, tough times never last but tough people do. You will bend but you will never break. Don’t give up.
Remain blessed!

Saturday, April 18, 2015

EGGS IN A BASKET

https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-iwrtEiq1CN4/Tc-85squ3nI/AAAAAAAAACA/X3tvuYihJsk/s320/egg-basket.jpg



   What do I mean by eggs in a basket? It does not mean when you carry actual chicken eggs and put them all in a basket. It is an idiom. They say, “Don’t put all your eggs in one basket.' the reason is , if you drop that basket all your eggs would break at once. It’s one expression lots of people take to heart. It is used aptly these days in relationships. It is a case of uncertainty and insecurity if you ask me but it is also a case of being smart. I owe you a story, so here it is;
   Dupe is a banker with one of the new generation banks in Lagos. She meets Lekan, who is an insurance broker. They fall in love and start a serious courtship. 
   One day, 

Wednesday, April 1, 2015

SEARCHING FOR JOHNNY 5 (fiction)

   Blind dates are officially the worst.
   Why did I let Kels drag me into going on this one? I don’t do blind dates, ever. Tessa, calm down. Just smile at him and pretend you’re interested.
   Did Kels, even look at this guy before setting me up with him? She knows the kind of guys I like. Yes, that I’m looking for my Johnny, husband, hubby, whatever, doesn’t mean I should be set up with this. My tastes haven’t changed. That I’ve decided to stick to a person doesn’t mean he should look like this. Oh, wait o, Tessa, is Kels trying to say that I have to settle, that only guys who look like this one will be willing to marry me.
   Hian!
   The restaurant is nice though, so is this yummy plate of Pasta Alfredo. Yum yummy yum! This man before me not yum, one bit. To think I wore my favourite LBD for this thing.
   I’m going to bitch slap Kels when next I see her. I’m sure she’s laughing her heart off. Wait, was Uzo in on this? I’ll kill them both. Who needs besties anyway?
   Tessa, smile again, so he’d think you’re listening; nod your head too in interest. Perfect! He bought it.
I should get the recipe of this pasta from the chef, it’s heavenly.
   I like men. Ok, I love men and that’s just for their basic equipment which my new dildo seems to be handling the job quite well. I don’t love all men that much I know. I like my men tall, well built and most importantly well hung. I’ve never really cared about the brain matter but I do now, if I’m going to be spending forever with one.  This man is a funny caricature of my perfect man; he’s short, round and ugly, I’m sure his little Johnny, penis, sausage, wiener; (lol) is as tiny as my little finger. To top it all off he’s a woman wrapper.
What does woman wrapper mean again sef? Not that he chases women, the opposite; he won’t just shut the fuck up about his ex. Jeez! Kels owes me big time.
   I come on a date to be the centre of attention and the guy; look at him, then take a slow good look at me (lol), who’s meant to be grateful to have been set up on a date with a gorgeous goddess like moi, has spent the past one hour of dinner talking about some girl, I don’t care to remember her name.
   Ok Tessa, give him another, I’m listening smile. What! No, no is he about to....this grown up man is crying. Na wa o! I wish I could disappear from here. People are beginning to stare. I will kill Kels! Tessa, touch his arm, say something, ok, do something. I’ve never seen grown men cry.
‘It’s ok.’ I patted his arm
‘No, it’s not!’ he’s crying harder.
   Mehn, this is not just it. The girl must have do am strong thing. Wait, wetin be his name again? He said it then...OC? Nope! OJ? Nope! Owu? Olu! That’s it.
‘Olu, I don’t think she deserves you.’
‘I’m the one that didn’t deserve her!’
   Chai! His cry have increase o. Tessa do something. I’m not Dr Phil, Oprah or some relationship expert. Which kain wahala be dis one? I’ve got it.
‘Olu, you’re a successful, good looking and honest man. You’re in touch with your feminine side. A lot of women will die to have a man like you.’
   I should win an Oscar or Join Nollywood. Tessa, idi good. His Niagara Falls is drying up.
‘Really?’
‘Yes! Who wouldn’t want a man like you?’
‘But Onyinye left me for him.’
‘That’s her loss.’
   I wouldn’t mind another plate of Pasta. Tessa focus! He just said something.
‘I’m serious Olu. Let’s bet it, she’ll come running back.’
   I hope this lie doesn’t haunt me. He’s shown me a picture of the man she left him for. If it were me, I will never come back to Humpty Dumpty (lol). Tessa Focus!
‘You really think so?’
   Thank God! His crying has stopped. Why would a man cry for a woman? Maybe her pussy was sweet. Or he never believed he could get that kinda girl. Or he’d spent so much on her. Or he’s just a woman in a man’s body. Wait o, why is he staring at me? Oh, my reply.
‘Yes. Do you know what I think? You should join a gym; build your confidence, so that next time she sees you, she’ll want to die with regret. ‘
   He’s smiling. Awwww!
‘Thank you, Theresa.’
‘You’re welcome. I have something to tell you but you didn’t hear it from me. Kelechi, our mutual friend, I think she likes you.’
‘She does?’
‘She always talks about a certain Olu, who is loving and caring that she likes but he was into some other girl.’
‘I like Kelechi and...
‘Remember, you didn’t hear it from me.’
   His face is lit with hope and purpose. Tessa, you are a miracle worker. This is better than bitch slapping Kels. (Lol)Oh my God! Well played, Tessa. Well played. This will teach her to set me on a date with a man-woman.  When did the waiter get here? Olu’s lips are moving. They are big o. Tessa, focus!

‘....do you care for?’
‘Care for?
‘I was asking if you’d like anything else.’
‘Yes, please. Another plate of this Pasta Alfredo and a ginger cocktail.’
   Olu smiles again. Well, it wasn’t a disaster after all, I feel good about myself. Thirty minutes and I’m out of here. What’s he saying again?
‘Can we be friends?’
‘Of course we can, Olu.’

   HELL NO! Where’s the waiter with the food?



You reading, you do understand that all content on this site are copyrighted, my intellectual property and can’t be lifted off into any other form of media? Ok, we’re cool. 

Thursday, March 12, 2015

SEARCHING FOR JOHNNY 4 (fiction)

‘Tessa what are you doing here o? ‘
   I hate going to the mall in the evening. It’s always like a market square, ok, worse than that.  It’s four pm and yet... I don’t know what mum sees in this mall’s bread. She begged me to buy it and now I’ve been told the bread is not ready, I have to wait for two hours. God knows if I leave now, I’d never come back which has led me to this fast food to enjoy this tasteless minced pie.
Uuurggghhh!!!
   Some fast foods should be shut down. Don’t they taste what they...no way...is that? Yes it is. I hope he can’t see me? Nope! Another reason why I hate the mall, you see people you don’t want to see.
   He still looks good. I haven’t seen him in four years. Luke Ogbodo. I would have been married to him; I think or at least dated him if only he’d seen me. Why is my heart beating really fast? Should I go over and say hi before he sees me? Should I hide? Nah! He won’t be able to see me all the way from that fast food across with people passing in the middle.
   Luke was the one guy I ever really liked. We’d known for three years but our relationship never went past the bedroom. Yes God, the sex was great and kinky, really really great. I’m getting wet thinking about it. (Lol). I developed feelings and I told him I liked him, he said he liked me too. I’m never vulnerable, I don’t trust easily and I show no feelings but I did with him. I wanted more than just being fuck buddies. I thought he felt same.  I was invited to a party by a guest and that’s how I met Bola. She could talk sha. I’ve never met anyone that meets you within an hour and downloads her personal file to you.
   One night after three rounds of mind blowing sex, he began to ask me how my day went. I didn’t feel like talking but he kept asking so I told him I ran into a mutual friend called Bola Adeyinka. He sat up fast in bed and asked;
‘I pray you didn’t make me look bad before her? Did you tell her about us?’
   Something died in me that night. I told him no and he went on that he hopes so. I told him she said he likes her that they met at his place two days before and they kissed and stuff. He didn’t deny it. He told me he really liked her that it didn’t mean he didn’t like me too but she’s loving and caring. She’s very playful and fun to chat with. She gets him that he wants to be a friend to her and if I told her about us it would hurt her. She’s had so many bad things happen to her and she’s learning to trust him though her problem was that he had too many girls around him. He wants to be close to her and be someone she can rely on even if they don’t date and he would never hurt her, if they date then it’s God’s will that he really hopes I said nothing.
   I assured him I didn’t because I didn’t and I prayed things work out for them.
   Kels told me I was very stupid that I should have told him the truth. The truth was and is that Bola is bisexual. She was more of a lesbian because she enjoyed sex more with girls. (Lol). I told her nothing about Luke and I and I told Luke nothing about her female lovers.
   Kels insisted then that I should have at least fought for him. I think that’s stupid. I might be a sex freak but I want what my mum and dad had; real love. Someone that likes you and just you, you don’t question if they do or not, it’s evident by their actions besides, who wants to play second fiddle or be a back up for some other girl?
‘Tessa you’re getting emotional o!’
   But it’s true. I want acceptance, some guy that looks at me and knows it’s me he wants. His telling me all that told me the answer I sought; I was just a fuck buddy to him, always was, always will be. She was the ONE to him.
   One thing Kels doesn’t understand till date is, you don’t and should never compete for a guy. That’s going stupid. Choose a person that chooses you. If he wants some other girl, pull out of the picture and let him have her.
‘Tessa you don turn relationship counsellor for your mind. (Lol)’
   Luke and Bola were perfect for each other. He had a saviour complex that only wanted timid pour my problems on you girls that he could save and Bola had the damsel in distress, let me tell you my deepest problems so you can like me syndrome (lol).
   They’ve been married, three years now. I guess Bola realised he was the perfect cover and Luke could never divorce her cause he had an image to protect. Maybe he knew she was bi and thought his mojo and love could save her and be enough (lmfao).
   Kels told me, he found out about Bola’s recent girlfriend, some hot Brazilian chic. He caught them in bed. The news is about town.
   Kels can be funny sometimes, asking me if he comes back for me, would I take him. HELL NO!  Who wants a Tokunbo man? Because the love of your life that you chose turns out to be a mistake, you now remember the poor girl you left behind. Lol!
   I’m six feet of gorgeousness. I’m stubborn,i'm confident, I love sex, I’m crazy, I’m kind and loving if you show it first, I’m a believer of actions not words, anyone who gives up all of this for all of whatever, doesn’t deserve a second of my time.
‘Wait! Did Kels tell him I’ll be here????’
   Thank God, he’s leaving. He’s aged ten years in just three years. I pity him...pity! That’s why my heart was beating fast. Poor Luke!
   I have a blind date next tomorrow. All part of my Johnny quest thanks to Uzo and Kels who sings I have to meet men, go on dates. (Lol)
‘I wonder what he’d be like. There are lots of crazy men in this town sha.’
One hour more to burn here before the infamous bread gets ready. Tessa, you should have just seen a movie.



You reading, you do understand that all content on this site are copyrighted, my intellectual property and can’t be lifted off into any other form of media? Ok, we’re cool. 

Monday, March 9, 2015

BEFORE YOU CAST THAT VOTE

  
Image: Nigeriacamera.net

 The Nigerian Presidential election is here. Nigerians will stroll out in their hordes to change the course of their country. In a way,

Friday, February 27, 2015

SEARCHING FOR JOHNNY 3 (fiction)

  Hmmmm! That feels really good. Just a little bit to the left, now right. I’m almost there. Oh this is it. Dear God! This is.....What the fuck?
  Tessa, rearrange fast.
‘No work today?’
‘Mum, you can’t just enter my room like that now.’
  God, please don’t let her see James. I’d do hundred Hail Mary’s. I’ll even sweep the church for a month. This woman should go now. She’s still standing there, looking at me suspiciously.
‘What?’
‘You look feverish. Tessa are you sick?’
  Is she reaching out to tuck me in? James!
‘No! I’m fine mummy. I slept late that’s why.’
‘Nne, you work too hard. Let me warm the leftover pepper soup for you.’
‘Mum don’t stress yourself.’
  Why is she laughing?
‘If I don’t take care of you, is it your dead father I’ll take care of?’
‘Mummy!’
‘Don’t move. I’ll be back with the soup.’
  Pheeew! That was close. I love mum to bits but she has a problem with boundaries. I can just imagine her reaction if she’d seen James, my giant dildo inside me as she opened the door. (Laugh). Thank God for bed sheets and duvets.
  I’d agreed with my besties; Uzo and Kels, to hold on for the right guy. Well, doesn’t mean I can’t have sex any other way. A dildo isn’t a man. Is using a dildo, fornication? Nah! It isn’t a person, no sin here. Now, where was I? This battery better not die on me today.
That feels.....Not again!
  My virginal sister, arms akimbo, disapproving look on her face staring down at me.
‘Is it that everyone in this house has a problem with knocking?’ I thundered as I dove for cover.
‘Tessa, you shouldn’t use that demonic thing.’
  Is she about to cry?
‘What demonic thing?’
  Let’s see if she can say the name.
‘That thing!’ She pointed at James.
‘What thing Joan?’
Ok, Tessa, no laugh. So, because person na virgin, im no fit call Peepee, Penis, Toto, Junior, Dick...Tessa, concentrate.
‘Can’t you say it?’
‘That disgusting thing!’
  Ok, time to push. Let me put it in my mouth. If it was possible for Joan to have a heart attack at twenty-seven, she just did.
‘Tessa!!!!!’
  The door swung open at her shrieking. Mum dropped the pepper soup on seeing me. Chai! What lie do I tell now?
                            ******************************************
‘Theresa!’
That’s my, you’re in trouble name.
‘Yes ma.’
  I use ma when I know, I’m in trouble.
‘What was that thing in your mouth?’
  We gather round the dining table whenever anyone’s in trouble. If I could slap Joan without arousing suspicion, I for brush am teytey. See her eyes like cat own. I’m sure she’s dying to see how I get out of this. My mum still thinks I’m a virgin.
‘Theresa, I’m talking to you.’
  Mum looks prettier angry. How come I’ve never noticed?
‘Mum, it’s her thing?’
‘Thing for?’ my mum asked.
‘It’s my cheek massager.’
  If Joan doesn’t close her shocked mouth, I swear, I’ll slap her for real.
‘Cheek massager kwa?’
‘Yes mum. Remember I told you I was tired. I had pains round my tooth and my cheeks hurt, so it helps with the pain.’
  Hmmm! If my mum, knew what she’s inspecting all over was the oyibo version of a penis that can do things (laugh).
‘Don’t put it in your mouth!’ Joan screamed.
‘Mum, it can’t be shared.’
‘Ehen!’
‘Yes ma!’ Joan and I replied.
‘It’s like a toothbrush, it can’t be shared.’ I added
‘Why does it look like a man’s organ?’
  Mum try pass Joan sef.
‘You know this oyibo people can be funny.’
  We laughed different shades of laughter. Lol!
‘In that case, buy me one for Father Sixtus. His toothache......’
  Ok, I’m in my head again and I’ve zoned out. Joan looks like she’s about to puke. Dear God, what will be the headline:  “REV FR. CAUGHT WITH DILDO IN MOUTH, CALLS IT CHEEK MASSAGER”
Tessa, think, think.
‘It’s out of stock! Joan to the rescue.
‘Yes mum, it is. They were checking the reception in the Nigerian market.’ I buttressed.
‘Ok dear. Joan, no work?’
‘It’s public hol.’
‘Good! Tessa, go back to bed, let me make fresh pepper soup.’
Ok, let me warn Joan with my eyes before she spills. She’ll get the message. Perfect! She did.

  I’m taking a sex break on men and now my James is on one too. There’s Mr Right out there, but where?
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Check me out in this short film:  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KEggln4eyNQ

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Please vote for my friends nominated for the AMVCAs i beg thee. Voting ends this saturday 28th February at midnight.

Kehinde Bankole( the pretty dimpled cheek teacher in October 1) for best actress in a drama  https://connect.dstv.com/4.0.863/en-ZA/Login/?returnUrl=http%3A%2F%2Famvca2015-awards.dstv.com%2FCategory%2F525%2FNominee%2FNominee%2F4905

Wole Ojo (have you seen Maami featuring Funke Akindele. The short film 'Brave'?) for best actor in a Drama http://amvca2015-awards.dstv.com/NomineeCategory/505

Kelechi Udegbe (have you seen the Officer Titus series? He's officer Titus) for best actor in a comedy
http://amvca2015-awards.dstv.com/NomineeCategory/495

Thank you and God bless you as you vote and share with your family, friends and acquaintances. Cheers! 

Saturday, January 31, 2015

MAKING LEMONADE!

  I don’t know if you’ve ever hit a brick wall when running or if you have ever fallen from a height? That feeling of helplessness, wishing you could stop the movement but there is no brake pedal, no pause button.  You are shocked when you hit the wall. You weren’t expecting it to be there or feel the wind beneath your foot before you fall. When they told you ‘life is not fair’ or ‘life is hard’ when you were little, you’ll never understand what that means until you hit that brick wall. You hit it hard, and then the sayings will come back to you. If life were as easy as the adverts on TV make it look, we’d all be happy, living in mansions. There’d be no poor people, no homeless people, no labourers, no market women, and no shop attendants. Everyone will have enough to spare, with the perfect life, family and no one would have to work or do what they don’t want to do just to have a little cash in their pockets to survive with.
  When life hits you hard, it doesn’t just hit you anywhere.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

CRISIS IN THE HEALTH SECTOR

  Nobody likes to be taken for granted. People get discouraged when their efforts are seen as nothing and another’s as greater. It builds a huge feeling of inferiority and hatred for the loved party.
  Right from the days of old, doctors have always been considered a big deal; they’ve always had nurses and other health professionals that work with them to ensure the health of the people. It’s the norm. It doesn’t mean the nurses and other medical workers are inferior, it’s just the way it is but doesn’t stop them from feeling inferior?
  In all the great medical Television shows that have been made ,from  Grey’s anatomy to house, Hart of Dixie to ER, emphasis has always been on the doctors, I’m yet to see any made about other medical professionals except Hawthorne and ...ok, I’m blank. The emphasis is not on the doctors because they are more important but they are the head of the team. It’s the fact.
  Everyone loves doctors. You hear some girls sing they must marry a doctor, parents and other members of societies welcome doctors but not other medical professionals. People get better in the hospitals, they come back to show appreciation and it’s the doctors they give the presents to; how are these the doctors fault?
  Back to the main story; there’s been an ongoing strike two months plus now by the JOHESU (Joint health staff union) and other professional medical bodies. I’m sure most Nigerians are clueless about this. They’ve been on numerous strikes. The last before this, the federal hospitals were kept running by the doctors who doubled up as nurses, radiologists, etc. This time, they went ahead to lock up all hospital equipment, medicine, forms and what not before embarking on the strike.  You can’t have any surgery done in any federal hospital, you can’t even be admitted. The doctors are trying their best.
  I have family and friends on the opposite sides.  I asked my friends who are members of JOHESU and they went on rants about doctors. So, I investigated further. Some of the reasons for the JOHESU strike are: they want to be addressed as consultants; they want to be made CMDs (chief medical directors in hospitals).
  Please, pick up your dictionary or Google the term ‘Consultant’, how does this tally with what they do? Let’s be sincere, do you stroll into a hospital to consult with a nurse, a lab scientist, a radiologist, a pharmacist etc? Would you be satisfied if they operate on you? Or diagnose your illness? The pharmacists argue that they make the drugs; hence they should be the ones to prescribe them, not doctors. Where in the world is that done? Even in the US, no one will sell you drugs in any pharmacy or drugstore without a doctor’s prescription.
  Who should be made a Chief Medical Director of a hospital? I leave that to you to answer. Some hospitals are run by boards, ok most are but the chief Medical Directors are always either doctors or management personnel.
  Remember when doctors went on strike and Nigerians rose up to castigate and curse them, well, here are the reasons why they went on that strike. Most of the reasons stated were for their patients. Do you know, if that doctor treating you has a prick or anything e.g. during the Ebola crisis, five thousand Naira is what covers their lives (hazard).

 
 

  
   Here are the reasons for the JOHESU two months plus strike.
“I. Adjustment of CONHESS salary as done for the NMA in the same sector.
ii. Payment of Arrears on skipping of CONHESS 10 since year 2010.
iii. Promotion of our members from CONHESS 14 to 15 for over ten years.
iv. Appointment of our members as Chief Medical Directors.
v. Abolition of the post of Deputy Chairman, Medical Advisory Committee.
vi. Immediate circularization of retirement age of Healthcare workers from 60 to 65 years.
vii. Immediate payment of arrears of Specialist allowance to all Hospital based Healthcare Professionals who possess relevant post graduate qualification that is, MSc, Phd or post graduate fellowship who had attained the Consultant grade level 14 in the public service or CONHESS 13 in the Teaching Hospital sector and above.
viii. Immediate release of circular amending the extant circular for Medical Laboratory Scientists Interns to include post NYSC placement on grade level 09 step 2 and the upgrading of stale Officers across board.
ix. Others.  “

  I do not blame them for stating their grievances but what happened to the patients they are meant to care for? Thanks to a government that is interested in polls, every time they go on strike because they’re a union and elections are near, nothing happens. They want to earn more than the doctors, etc what about your patients?
  In the Nigerian Education system, most students from science class apply for medicine in the universities but most are bumped down to Biochemistry, Microbiology, and Pharmacy etc. Some do get into Medical school only to fail and then fall back on the other medical science courses. So all that plus treatment from people, this is the result.  Does the fact that they aren’t doctors make their work any less important? NO! They don’t seem to be professionals enough to understand this; every field has its leader. You can be great in your field with years of experience, working with doctors and other members of the team, it still doesn’t make you a doctor. Yeah, medical doctors have been called pompous right from medical school, truth be told, if I knew as much as they did about the human body and be able to save a life, pass exams after going through hordes of textbooks, diseases and etc, the confidence oozing out of me would be awesome, you’d hate me for it.
  It’ like a bailiff, going up in arms against judges and saying, he’s been there for years, what do judges know that he doesn't. He should be and deserves to be made the Chief Judge of a state etc. It’s not possible! You have to pass through the necessary steps.
  A gaffer in a film production company says he should be put in charge of a movie production and the director of the film should answer to him, everyone should answer to him not the director. That’s sheer madness. It’s the director that is recognized mainly when films are out but does it make the other professionals that worked on the film less important? NO! But it doesn't make them directors either.
  I can understand the pain in being neglected and looked down upon, it’s not the doctors’ fault. Doctors don’t work alone, they work with you, you’re an important member of their team, and I think doctors need to recognise this if they don’t. It still doesn’t make you a doctor.
 It’s sad that they’ve been on strike over two months now and no one has really noticed, not the government, not the people. Doctors went on strike the last time and within a day, the news was everywhere. We should learn to appreciate other health workers, not just doctors who are professionals in their fields but it doesn’t make them doctors still.
  Everyone should take pride in their work. Even the Holy Books say it. I hope the Nigerian government because of elections and votes don’t do something that hasn’t been done anywhere in the world and listen to words borne out of sentiments, insecurity and inferiority complex. (Well, anything goes in Nigeria, sadly)
  If you feel envious of doctors, think you deserve to be like them, get the respect, deserve to be called a consultant, be made a CMD, it’s never too late, do it the right and professional way, go back to medical school and go through the process: medical school, houseman ship, NYSC, primaries, junior residency, senior residency and then become a consultant.
  Please let’s end this unending animosity for doctors and be the professionals that we are. Your work is important in a hospital; I recognise and appreciate this, everyone should too. Doctors, appreciate your team, and Nigerians encourage and appreciate them too. It still doesn’t make you a doctor, a consultant or a CMD candidate.  
  Let’s all join hands and make our health sector better. There are things that need to be fought for (top priority). We need doctors and every health worker to be the team they should be and save our lives. I say a big thank you to all health workers. Be the professionals that you are.

 (Imagine if the JOHESU set grievances aside and teamed up with the doctors to push for a raise in their fees, health hazard, better hospitals and National health insurance e.t.c. together. Just a thought)

Saturday, January 3, 2015

THE CARPETBAGGERS ARE HERE!!!

THE CARPETBAGGERS ARE HERE!

(Hehehehe at the picture. Wrote this during the 2011 presidential elections. It struck a chord in me, elections are in February, so here it is, four years after and still true.)

   Guess what song is playing in my head? A song by Fela on suffering and smiling, oops! Wait the song has changed to Jayz’s ‘roc boys.’
Today is the day. What day is that you may ask? Nigeria’s presidential elections. Am I going to vote? No! Why? I have been disenfranchised. I will get to that part of the story.

   The first time I became aware of my country’s politicking ways was at the age of five. It was 1993, I was in school singing ‘jack and Jill went up the hill...’ we never finished that rhyme because like a swarm of bees, parents came to pick their wards. It was morning and I was surprised. Our teachers started leaving too. My friends were all gone. My elder brother came to drag me from class until our driver arrived. Everywhere, people were in a frenzy, shops were locking up, businesses closing down. There were riots. On the windscreen of each car were green leaves, I still wonder what that symbolised. The radio was on and a funny voice that had problems with letters like ‘F’ and 'P' came on. All I heard was ‘Coup’. As we drove home, people were protesting on the streets, soldiers were there to kill it or them. Cars were damaged, I saw people getting beat up. Lagos was in a windstorm. We got home I heard dad saying over the phone
“the election has been annulled. Military has taken over. Everywhere is in chaos”
CNN was covering it with their usual attention to details they give to other countries not theirs. The next day we left for our village till things quelled down. Thus started the reign of General Abacha, a name I got to hear frequently until the day he died, I was still in elementary school. You should have been there to see the jubilation; people were buying drinks for neighbours and friends. I sat in front of the television, watching CNN. Hey, I have always loved to be in the know learnt that from my dad. I was watching the TV with dad. That day, I heard different stories from different sources; news stations, newspapers, neighbours, family on how he died. Some said he died of a poisoned apple brought in by two beautiful ladies, some heart attack, others assassinated by the leaders of the developed world. All rejoiced that the man called tyrant was dead. His VP took over until....

   ‘Democracy is here’ was the slogan for the 1999 election. The military was handing over and the people were happy. According to them, the military was the root of the nation’s problems. Everyone was happy that civilian rule was back and the people were rid of tyrants. I remained indifferent to it all. Then a man won the election. I heard different stories on that too; he was just released from prison. Some powerful men went to meet him in prison and persuaded him to come out as president. I was amazed at the rags to riches story until I discovered he was a former military president before my birth. I pondered again ‘They say the military is the problem, why bring in a military man under civilian clothes. Once a pig always a pig, so, once a military man always a military man.’  I never really witnessed military rule but His I believe is the definition. His witch hunters tagged a crime commission and other means created by him hunted all opponents. People watched their steps and words. The people groaned
‘He is the problem of the nation.’
This was tyranny cloaked in democracy. He was the master of the game. With him came his infamous political party **People's Democratic party. Election came once more but he remained. The party was dragged to court over electoral misconducts but the judiciary I believe loved their lives so nothing happened. He plotted a third term but higher bodies, lol, warned him! It was killed.
   He got wiser the next elections.
‘If I can’t stay in power I shall put in my minion.’
First day I saw this minion on TV, I said to myself
‘This man looks like a sickler or someone with HIV.’
 Little did I know I was right in a distorted way, his reign was not his but that of another because he was ill. It became a game of chess and a puppet show.  Well, the man died, in came the VP. The north said no, thanks to zoning in Nigerian politics, which has become a turn-by-turn shenanigan of cowboys and Indians, lol!
   The VP was wise. He played on his name to build a brand. They say the name has brought him good luck from his elementary school days. He replaces others. He brings good luck to himself and bad luck to others. The political parties are singing
 'People’s party is the problem remove them and put us. We are better.’

   The brooms and umbrellas go for each other’s jugular. The witch hunter of the former umbrella president becomes the broom bearer. It is all ironical if you ask me. Pen is a former military ruler with a clergy as vice.The celebrities rally around for the umbrella's bad luck. They say they were not paid; they are doing it because they support him. Kick me in the butt because I think I am dreaming. One thing I have learnt about politics is nothing goes for nothing. Fine, they might not have been paid in currency but imagine if the umbrella succeeds at the polls and remains in power of course they will reap in benefits. I have learnt this rule from the age of five.

Here comes the question, who are the carpetbaggers?
 Carpetbaggers according to Wikipedia  ;In United States history, "carpetbaggers" was a pejorative term Southerners gave to Northerners (also referred to as Yankees) who moved to the South during the Reconstruction era, between 1865 and 1877.
The term referred to the observation that these newcomers tended to carry "carpet bags," a common form of luggage at the time (sturdy and made from recycled carpet). It was used as a derogatory term, suggesting opportunism and exploitation by the outsiders
   Ok, yes, I love the novel of same title. Who are the carpetbaggers in Nigeria? They are the politicians, the political parties. They are all the same; there is no saint amongst them. The military and the civilian, all same. Let them have the opportunity to enter as the umbrella did and they might do worse. As they sing, ‘a chair is still a chair, even if there is no one sitting there.’ Pot calling kettle black is the Nigerian political story. As I type, the usual is going on.  They all make promises. I know it is hard for someone to enter and not loot, fine, do it but also do some work. Let us feel the change then if we hear you looted we can say at least you made a change. Do not just loot and do no work. Rigging is going on everywhere. The truth behind my country is let the best man win. The best man here means the best rigger. The person with the best tactics wins, not the best man.
  Now, back to my disenfranchisement. I registered in Benin but I am in Lagos now, so I cannot vote. Who said I was not going to vote? I will but it will not be done personally by me, it shall be done for me. Check the database of voters,my name shall be there but how are they to know I am not the one that threw the ballot in. stupid is what I call the system. They are all opportunists and exploiters with sugar tongues and heavy pockets ,laden with stolen money.
Vote people, one-day e go better. If you vote, they cannot use your data for you.
Vote for me people. I am the best candidate . THE CARPETBAGGERS ARE HERE!!!!

And that's the end. The Nigerian Presidential elections are on the 14th of February, 2015, State is on the 28th of Feb. 2015. Will you vote? Where will you stand in your nation's history?
Be Pro-Nigerian!!! 

Saturday, December 27, 2014

COMPETING WITH OTHERS

   
You left school, three years ago. Your mates are already serving and working, you look at them and you feel like a failure. You are working but you ran into a friend last week, she has a sweet ride, married, her husband is rich and she’s working in a great firm. You look at your life and decide it is rubbish. She’s leading a better life than you are. Your mates are all married and you are not, you look at them with envy and wonder why your life is cursed. You ask yourself what you did wrong, why can’t you be like them.
  Tonye was your junior in school but now he owns his own firm. He’s a big boy, a confirmed one. He has a house and cars, not rented. You walk into your one room and cry. Why is he successful while you are not? What have you done wrong?
  Every day we look at people and wonder why we don’t have what they have. We tell ourselves their lives are better than ours. We see the clothes, shoes, bags, houses, cars; spouses and we comment to ourselves that our lives are not worth it. We ask God, why does Stella have this and we don’t. That little envy appears each time we see their updates on Blackberry, Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites. Sometimes we even add, ‘I’m better than Tony.’ ‘I deserve all this and not her.’
  When we plan, we add ‘I’ll make it more than Tony has already.’ ‘My husband will be better and richer than Funmi’s.’
  Do you know you are in competition with no one but yourself? They are not competing with you. That Tony, Funmi, and Stella you are looking at and basing your life and your success with theirs are not you. You’re not them either. You have had different backgrounds, roads, opportunities, your dreams, desires are all totally different. You may have met Funmi’s husband and you wouldn’t want him because what you want in a man is different from what she wants.  Wherever they are now, you didn’t follow the same path they did. Maybe their family got them the job or they had a nest egg somewhere to start up or their field is in acting while yours is in banking. You are not same with anyone on this planet so why measure your success with theirs?
  Look at your dreams which you alone have and mark your progression and success. Yes, you might both be in banking together and he’s been promoted but you haven’t. He made different choices as they appeared before him. You might even be working in different banking firms or same but in different locales and with different bosses. Why worry your head over another man? Work on yourself and your dreams. You set your score mark for yourself. If you are in A now tell yourself you want to move and work towards getting to B next time. If your friend gets to C, remember you are not in his shoes and you don’t have same thought processes, opportunities and choices and keep moving on with your goals. Accept your life and the choices you’ve made, if you want more make it happen and not condemning your life by calling others better.

  Set your goals higher and move from where you are because you want to. Beat the score mark you had the last time. You are not in competition with me, him, her, them, and us but with you. Beat yourself! I know it's that time of the year when we evaluate achievements and milestones done in the year.

Thank you for reading! Hope my thought helps you somehow as it did me.

 Happy New Year in advance and good luck with your resolutions and plans. Cheers!