Thursday, March 12, 2015

SEARCHING FOR JOHNNY 4 (fiction)

‘Tessa what are you doing here o? ‘
   I hate going to the mall in the evening. It’s always like a market square, ok, worse than that.  It’s four pm and yet... I don’t know what mum sees in this mall’s bread. She begged me to buy it and now I’ve been told the bread is not ready, I have to wait for two hours. God knows if I leave now, I’d never come back which has led me to this fast food to enjoy this tasteless minced pie.
Uuurggghhh!!!
   Some fast foods should be shut down. Don’t they taste what they...no way...is that? Yes it is. I hope he can’t see me? Nope! Another reason why I hate the mall, you see people you don’t want to see.
   He still looks good. I haven’t seen him in four years. Luke Ogbodo. I would have been married to him; I think or at least dated him if only he’d seen me. Why is my heart beating really fast? Should I go over and say hi before he sees me? Should I hide? Nah! He won’t be able to see me all the way from that fast food across with people passing in the middle.
   Luke was the one guy I ever really liked. We’d known for three years but our relationship never went past the bedroom. Yes God, the sex was great and kinky, really really great. I’m getting wet thinking about it. (Lol). I developed feelings and I told him I liked him, he said he liked me too. I’m never vulnerable, I don’t trust easily and I show no feelings but I did with him. I wanted more than just being fuck buddies. I thought he felt same.  I was invited to a party by a guest and that’s how I met Bola. She could talk sha. I’ve never met anyone that meets you within an hour and downloads her personal file to you.
   One night after three rounds of mind blowing sex, he began to ask me how my day went. I didn’t feel like talking but he kept asking so I told him I ran into a mutual friend called Bola Adeyinka. He sat up fast in bed and asked;
‘I pray you didn’t make me look bad before her? Did you tell her about us?’
   Something died in me that night. I told him no and he went on that he hopes so. I told him she said he likes her that they met at his place two days before and they kissed and stuff. He didn’t deny it. He told me he really liked her that it didn’t mean he didn’t like me too but she’s loving and caring. She’s very playful and fun to chat with. She gets him that he wants to be a friend to her and if I told her about us it would hurt her. She’s had so many bad things happen to her and she’s learning to trust him though her problem was that he had too many girls around him. He wants to be close to her and be someone she can rely on even if they don’t date and he would never hurt her, if they date then it’s God’s will that he really hopes I said nothing.
   I assured him I didn’t because I didn’t and I prayed things work out for them.
   Kels told me I was very stupid that I should have told him the truth. The truth was and is that Bola is bisexual. She was more of a lesbian because she enjoyed sex more with girls. (Lol). I told her nothing about Luke and I and I told Luke nothing about her female lovers.
   Kels insisted then that I should have at least fought for him. I think that’s stupid. I might be a sex freak but I want what my mum and dad had; real love. Someone that likes you and just you, you don’t question if they do or not, it’s evident by their actions besides, who wants to play second fiddle or be a back up for some other girl?
‘Tessa you’re getting emotional o!’
   But it’s true. I want acceptance, some guy that looks at me and knows it’s me he wants. His telling me all that told me the answer I sought; I was just a fuck buddy to him, always was, always will be. She was the ONE to him.
   One thing Kels doesn’t understand till date is, you don’t and should never compete for a guy. That’s going stupid. Choose a person that chooses you. If he wants some other girl, pull out of the picture and let him have her.
‘Tessa you don turn relationship counsellor for your mind. (Lol)’
   Luke and Bola were perfect for each other. He had a saviour complex that only wanted timid pour my problems on you girls that he could save and Bola had the damsel in distress, let me tell you my deepest problems so you can like me syndrome (lol).
   They’ve been married, three years now. I guess Bola realised he was the perfect cover and Luke could never divorce her cause he had an image to protect. Maybe he knew she was bi and thought his mojo and love could save her and be enough (lmfao).
   Kels told me, he found out about Bola’s recent girlfriend, some hot Brazilian chic. He caught them in bed. The news is about town.
   Kels can be funny sometimes, asking me if he comes back for me, would I take him. HELL NO!  Who wants a Tokunbo man? Because the love of your life that you chose turns out to be a mistake, you now remember the poor girl you left behind. Lol!
   I’m six feet of gorgeousness. I’m stubborn,i'm confident, I love sex, I’m crazy, I’m kind and loving if you show it first, I’m a believer of actions not words, anyone who gives up all of this for all of whatever, doesn’t deserve a second of my time.
‘Wait! Did Kels tell him I’ll be here????’
   Thank God, he’s leaving. He’s aged ten years in just three years. I pity him...pity! That’s why my heart was beating fast. Poor Luke!
   I have a blind date next tomorrow. All part of my Johnny quest thanks to Uzo and Kels who sings I have to meet men, go on dates. (Lol)
‘I wonder what he’d be like. There are lots of crazy men in this town sha.’
One hour more to burn here before the infamous bread gets ready. Tessa, you should have just seen a movie.



You reading, you do understand that all content on this site are copyrighted, my intellectual property and can’t be lifted off into any other form of media? Ok, we’re cool. 

Monday, March 9, 2015

BEFORE YOU CAST THAT VOTE

  
Image: Nigeriacamera.net

 The Nigerian Presidential election is here. Nigerians will stroll out in their hordes to change the course of their country. In a way,

Friday, February 27, 2015

SEARCHING FOR JOHNNY 3 (fiction)

  Hmmmm! That feels really good. Just a little bit to the left, now right. I’m almost there. Oh this is it. Dear God! This is.....What the fuck?
  Tessa, rearrange fast.
‘No work today?’
‘Mum, you can’t just enter my room like that now.’
  God, please don’t let her see James. I’d do hundred Hail Mary’s. I’ll even sweep the church for a month. This woman should go now. She’s still standing there, looking at me suspiciously.
‘What?’
‘You look feverish. Tessa are you sick?’
  Is she reaching out to tuck me in? James!
‘No! I’m fine mummy. I slept late that’s why.’
‘Nne, you work too hard. Let me warm the leftover pepper soup for you.’
‘Mum don’t stress yourself.’
  Why is she laughing?
‘If I don’t take care of you, is it your dead father I’ll take care of?’
‘Mummy!’
‘Don’t move. I’ll be back with the soup.’
  Pheeew! That was close. I love mum to bits but she has a problem with boundaries. I can just imagine her reaction if she’d seen James, my giant dildo inside me as she opened the door. (Laugh). Thank God for bed sheets and duvets.
  I’d agreed with my besties; Uzo and Kels, to hold on for the right guy. Well, doesn’t mean I can’t have sex any other way. A dildo isn’t a man. Is using a dildo, fornication? Nah! It isn’t a person, no sin here. Now, where was I? This battery better not die on me today.
That feels.....Not again!
  My virginal sister, arms akimbo, disapproving look on her face staring down at me.
‘Is it that everyone in this house has a problem with knocking?’ I thundered as I dove for cover.
‘Tessa, you shouldn’t use that demonic thing.’
  Is she about to cry?
‘What demonic thing?’
  Let’s see if she can say the name.
‘That thing!’ She pointed at James.
‘What thing Joan?’
Ok, Tessa, no laugh. So, because person na virgin, im no fit call Peepee, Penis, Toto, Junior, Dick...Tessa, concentrate.
‘Can’t you say it?’
‘That disgusting thing!’
  Ok, time to push. Let me put it in my mouth. If it was possible for Joan to have a heart attack at twenty-seven, she just did.
‘Tessa!!!!!’
  The door swung open at her shrieking. Mum dropped the pepper soup on seeing me. Chai! What lie do I tell now?
                            ******************************************
‘Theresa!’
That’s my, you’re in trouble name.
‘Yes ma.’
  I use ma when I know, I’m in trouble.
‘What was that thing in your mouth?’
  We gather round the dining table whenever anyone’s in trouble. If I could slap Joan without arousing suspicion, I for brush am teytey. See her eyes like cat own. I’m sure she’s dying to see how I get out of this. My mum still thinks I’m a virgin.
‘Theresa, I’m talking to you.’
  Mum looks prettier angry. How come I’ve never noticed?
‘Mum, it’s her thing?’
‘Thing for?’ my mum asked.
‘It’s my cheek massager.’
  If Joan doesn’t close her shocked mouth, I swear, I’ll slap her for real.
‘Cheek massager kwa?’
‘Yes mum. Remember I told you I was tired. I had pains round my tooth and my cheeks hurt, so it helps with the pain.’
  Hmmm! If my mum, knew what she’s inspecting all over was the oyibo version of a penis that can do things (laugh).
‘Don’t put it in your mouth!’ Joan screamed.
‘Mum, it can’t be shared.’
‘Ehen!’
‘Yes ma!’ Joan and I replied.
‘It’s like a toothbrush, it can’t be shared.’ I added
‘Why does it look like a man’s organ?’
  Mum try pass Joan sef.
‘You know this oyibo people can be funny.’
  We laughed different shades of laughter. Lol!
‘In that case, buy me one for Father Sixtus. His toothache......’
  Ok, I’m in my head again and I’ve zoned out. Joan looks like she’s about to puke. Dear God, what will be the headline:  “REV FR. CAUGHT WITH DILDO IN MOUTH, CALLS IT CHEEK MASSAGER”
Tessa, think, think.
‘It’s out of stock! Joan to the rescue.
‘Yes mum, it is. They were checking the reception in the Nigerian market.’ I buttressed.
‘Ok dear. Joan, no work?’
‘It’s public hol.’
‘Good! Tessa, go back to bed, let me make fresh pepper soup.’
Ok, let me warn Joan with my eyes before she spills. She’ll get the message. Perfect! She did.

  I’m taking a sex break on men and now my James is on one too. There’s Mr Right out there, but where?
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Check me out in this short film:  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KEggln4eyNQ

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Please vote for my friends nominated for the AMVCAs i beg thee. Voting ends this saturday 28th February at midnight.

Kehinde Bankole( the pretty dimpled cheek teacher in October 1) for best actress in a drama  https://connect.dstv.com/4.0.863/en-ZA/Login/?returnUrl=http%3A%2F%2Famvca2015-awards.dstv.com%2FCategory%2F525%2FNominee%2FNominee%2F4905

Wole Ojo (have you seen Maami featuring Funke Akindele. The short film 'Brave'?) for best actor in a Drama http://amvca2015-awards.dstv.com/NomineeCategory/505

Kelechi Udegbe (have you seen the Officer Titus series? He's officer Titus) for best actor in a comedy
http://amvca2015-awards.dstv.com/NomineeCategory/495

Thank you and God bless you as you vote and share with your family, friends and acquaintances. Cheers! 

Saturday, January 31, 2015

MAKING LEMONADE!

  I don’t know if you’ve ever hit a brick wall when running or if you have ever fallen from a height? That feeling of helplessness, wishing you could stop the movement but there is no brake pedal, no pause button.  You are shocked when you hit the wall. You weren’t expecting it to be there or feel the wind beneath your foot before you fall. When they told you ‘life is not fair’ or ‘life is hard’ when you were little, you’ll never understand what that means until you hit that brick wall. You hit it hard, and then the sayings will come back to you. If life were as easy as the adverts on TV make it look, we’d all be happy, living in mansions. There’d be no poor people, no homeless people, no labourers, no market women, and no shop attendants. Everyone will have enough to spare, with the perfect life, family and no one would have to work or do what they don’t want to do just to have a little cash in their pockets to survive with.
  When life hits you hard, it doesn’t just hit you anywhere.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

CRISIS IN THE HEALTH SECTOR

  Nobody likes to be taken for granted. People get discouraged when their efforts are seen as nothing and another’s as greater. It builds a huge feeling of inferiority and hatred for the loved party.
  Right from the days of old, doctors have always been considered a big deal; they’ve always had nurses and other health professionals that work with them to ensure the health of the people. It’s the norm. It doesn’t mean the nurses and other medical workers are inferior, it’s just the way it is but doesn’t stop them from feeling inferior?
  In all the great medical Television shows that have been made ,from  Grey’s anatomy to house, Hart of Dixie to ER, emphasis has always been on the doctors, I’m yet to see any made about other medical professionals except Hawthorne and ...ok, I’m blank. The emphasis is not on the doctors because they are more important but they are the head of the team. It’s the fact.
  Everyone loves doctors. You hear some girls sing they must marry a doctor, parents and other members of societies welcome doctors but not other medical professionals. People get better in the hospitals, they come back to show appreciation and it’s the doctors they give the presents to; how are these the doctors fault?
  Back to the main story; there’s been an ongoing strike two months plus now by the JOHESU (Joint health staff union) and other professional medical bodies. I’m sure most Nigerians are clueless about this. They’ve been on numerous strikes. The last before this, the federal hospitals were kept running by the doctors who doubled up as nurses, radiologists, etc. This time, they went ahead to lock up all hospital equipment, medicine, forms and what not before embarking on the strike.  You can’t have any surgery done in any federal hospital, you can’t even be admitted. The doctors are trying their best.
  I have family and friends on the opposite sides.  I asked my friends who are members of JOHESU and they went on rants about doctors. So, I investigated further. Some of the reasons for the JOHESU strike are: they want to be addressed as consultants; they want to be made CMDs (chief medical directors in hospitals).
  Please, pick up your dictionary or Google the term ‘Consultant’, how does this tally with what they do? Let’s be sincere, do you stroll into a hospital to consult with a nurse, a lab scientist, a radiologist, a pharmacist etc? Would you be satisfied if they operate on you? Or diagnose your illness? The pharmacists argue that they make the drugs; hence they should be the ones to prescribe them, not doctors. Where in the world is that done? Even in the US, no one will sell you drugs in any pharmacy or drugstore without a doctor’s prescription.
  Who should be made a Chief Medical Director of a hospital? I leave that to you to answer. Some hospitals are run by boards, ok most are but the chief Medical Directors are always either doctors or management personnel.
  Remember when doctors went on strike and Nigerians rose up to castigate and curse them, well, here are the reasons why they went on that strike. Most of the reasons stated were for their patients. Do you know, if that doctor treating you has a prick or anything e.g. during the Ebola crisis, five thousand Naira is what covers their lives (hazard).

 
 

  
   Here are the reasons for the JOHESU two months plus strike.
“I. Adjustment of CONHESS salary as done for the NMA in the same sector.
ii. Payment of Arrears on skipping of CONHESS 10 since year 2010.
iii. Promotion of our members from CONHESS 14 to 15 for over ten years.
iv. Appointment of our members as Chief Medical Directors.
v. Abolition of the post of Deputy Chairman, Medical Advisory Committee.
vi. Immediate circularization of retirement age of Healthcare workers from 60 to 65 years.
vii. Immediate payment of arrears of Specialist allowance to all Hospital based Healthcare Professionals who possess relevant post graduate qualification that is, MSc, Phd or post graduate fellowship who had attained the Consultant grade level 14 in the public service or CONHESS 13 in the Teaching Hospital sector and above.
viii. Immediate release of circular amending the extant circular for Medical Laboratory Scientists Interns to include post NYSC placement on grade level 09 step 2 and the upgrading of stale Officers across board.
ix. Others.  “

  I do not blame them for stating their grievances but what happened to the patients they are meant to care for? Thanks to a government that is interested in polls, every time they go on strike because they’re a union and elections are near, nothing happens. They want to earn more than the doctors, etc what about your patients?
  In the Nigerian Education system, most students from science class apply for medicine in the universities but most are bumped down to Biochemistry, Microbiology, and Pharmacy etc. Some do get into Medical school only to fail and then fall back on the other medical science courses. So all that plus treatment from people, this is the result.  Does the fact that they aren’t doctors make their work any less important? NO! They don’t seem to be professionals enough to understand this; every field has its leader. You can be great in your field with years of experience, working with doctors and other members of the team, it still doesn’t make you a doctor. Yeah, medical doctors have been called pompous right from medical school, truth be told, if I knew as much as they did about the human body and be able to save a life, pass exams after going through hordes of textbooks, diseases and etc, the confidence oozing out of me would be awesome, you’d hate me for it.
  It’ like a bailiff, going up in arms against judges and saying, he’s been there for years, what do judges know that he doesn't. He should be and deserves to be made the Chief Judge of a state etc. It’s not possible! You have to pass through the necessary steps.
  A gaffer in a film production company says he should be put in charge of a movie production and the director of the film should answer to him, everyone should answer to him not the director. That’s sheer madness. It’s the director that is recognized mainly when films are out but does it make the other professionals that worked on the film less important? NO! But it doesn't make them directors either.
  I can understand the pain in being neglected and looked down upon, it’s not the doctors’ fault. Doctors don’t work alone, they work with you, you’re an important member of their team, and I think doctors need to recognise this if they don’t. It still doesn’t make you a doctor.
 It’s sad that they’ve been on strike over two months now and no one has really noticed, not the government, not the people. Doctors went on strike the last time and within a day, the news was everywhere. We should learn to appreciate other health workers, not just doctors who are professionals in their fields but it doesn’t make them doctors still.
  Everyone should take pride in their work. Even the Holy Books say it. I hope the Nigerian government because of elections and votes don’t do something that hasn’t been done anywhere in the world and listen to words borne out of sentiments, insecurity and inferiority complex. (Well, anything goes in Nigeria, sadly)
  If you feel envious of doctors, think you deserve to be like them, get the respect, deserve to be called a consultant, be made a CMD, it’s never too late, do it the right and professional way, go back to medical school and go through the process: medical school, houseman ship, NYSC, primaries, junior residency, senior residency and then become a consultant.
  Please let’s end this unending animosity for doctors and be the professionals that we are. Your work is important in a hospital; I recognise and appreciate this, everyone should too. Doctors, appreciate your team, and Nigerians encourage and appreciate them too. It still doesn’t make you a doctor, a consultant or a CMD candidate.  
  Let’s all join hands and make our health sector better. There are things that need to be fought for (top priority). We need doctors and every health worker to be the team they should be and save our lives. I say a big thank you to all health workers. Be the professionals that you are.

 (Imagine if the JOHESU set grievances aside and teamed up with the doctors to push for a raise in their fees, health hazard, better hospitals and National health insurance e.t.c. together. Just a thought)