Saturday, November 29, 2014

THAT SATURDAY AFTERNOON

                  
It was one of those hot Lagos Saturday afternoons. I was in a bus; I could feel the sweat trickling down my back. ‘I think this ozone layer thing is turning out to be a worldwide problem’ I grumbled irritated as I dabbed my face with my handkerchief. Beside me was an elderly woman of 50, dressed to the hilt for one of our famous Lagos owambe parties, which happened everywhere on Saturdays. We lagosians love our owambe parties. Her gele (headgear) was so huge I had to turn my head sideways to prevent it from entering my eyes in case the bus fell into a pot hole. I tried hard not to stare at her because her makeup was like that of an Adanma masquerade. I wondered who let her out of the house, old mama youngy.
My ass was beginning to ache. The seat on the bus was made of wood and the journey was long. I was on my way to Satellite Town to see or rather console a friend of mine who just had a bad break up. A guy she had been dating for four years just upped and left her. She had been crying on phone to me all morning so I  decided to pack an overnight bag and get over to her house before she did something stupid because a guy not worthy of her left her, I never liked Rafe. Therefore, there I was in a Mile 2 bus, travelling from one end of Lagos to another. I was busy looking out the window admiring the changes Governor Fashola had done to Lagos. I tried not to listen in on the conversation my fellow passengers were having when I heard it.
“Ah! Oga, wetin dey inside this bag?”
Immediately , I turned, the lady who spoke was in her twenties, very pretty and the man she addressed looked like a knock off version of 50cent with the fake diamond chain (bling bling) hanging round his neck and a baggy jeans. He tried to cover the girl's mouth, pleading with her
"Please, keep quiet” Naturally, my interest and that of every passenger on the bus was piqued. An old man sitting by the young lady asked her “My dear, what is your business with what he’s carrying?” She looked at him defiantly
“Papa, na my business o! A corner of the bag is open and I think, no! I am sure I saw dollars in the bag. What if the police stop this bus or worse the EFCC?” We all looked at him for confirmation. He said, “Please, I beg y’all, don’t turn me in. I’ll tell y’all the truth” “I been living in the states for years. I worked in the toilets, washed dishes, washed dead bodies and did all sorta menial jobs. I sent every penny I made home to my uncle to keep for me, then, I got deported man. So, off I go to me uncle’s to get my money and he starts telling me all sorta stories” he said in his knock off abi fake American accent, if you ask me. “He tells me I sent him no money,” he continued “One day, I wait till he goes off to work; I sneak into his place and find this bag of dollars, my money. Please understand” he finished. Some passengers were saying “ee yah!” “Thank God!” “People can be wicked, Olorun ma je (God forbid)!”  “Na wa o!” The rest led by the young lady screamed “ Driver stop this bus” “ I no wan go prison o” “ bros, even if na u get d moni, u steal am, u b thief” He kept on begging, then he said “ Please, don’t turn me in. I’m willing to share the money with all of you” Trust Nigerians, their eyes chook open “eeeh!” “Bros, u serious?”  “Ok!” “That’s better, for our trouble and silence.” My mind kept thinking and my heart was beating erratically. I wondered the kind of trouble I just landed myself. These people might be 419ers’, ritualists or even the famous one chance people. I kept quiet throughout the whole fiasco.
  We were heading towards the Oshodi expressway when the young lady said “Bros, Ur idea good sha but me, I will not collect stolen money. We have to bless that money” “I will not touch cursed money. I know a big man of God, a Pastor, he stays around Oshodi here.” She continued, “But he’s very expensive”
“Sister, that’s a very good idea,” the old woman beside me said. Warning bells were ringing in my head seriously. “So, young lady, like how much will it cost?”
“It’s very expensive o, like N500,000”
“Ah! That’s very expensive, is he buying a new car”
Everybody in the bus was complaining until the old man said, “I have a solution. Let’s all contribute the little we have, a little drop of water makes a mighty ocean”
“Baba, that’s a very good idea” they agreed.
“Thanks y’all” the 50-cent knock off said.
“Ok! Everybody, How much do you have on you?” They started mentioning how much they had. Then they turned to me
“Sister, how much u get?”
I looked at them and said; “I don’t have any money on me” My mind was spinning. I knew I had to get off the bus. I remembered stories of people who had found themselves in the same situation. Some are raped; some lose all their money, some for rituals, some thrown off the bus. Men! Was I in big trouble. My eyes darted left and right, we were in a traffic jam.
“Driver, please I wan get down” I said. The young lady looked at me surprised,
“ Haba! Sister, u no won make moni? Just bring any amount you have”

 I was panicking
“Driver, I said I want to get down” the driver ignored me. They all tried to convince me on why I should join. Are they stupid? I thought. Do I look like a JJC, in Lagos? I knew they were 419 people. So, I said to them “Wait, u look me finish, waffi babe like me, I resemble Johnny just come for dis Lagos wey we dey so?” They looked at me mouth agape, before they could say Eko! I opened the door on the left and jumped down the bus, thanks to the go-slow. I ran to the other side of the road, without care. Cars were blasting their horns at me. I boarded a commercial bike straight to my friend’s house.  This Lagos is a land of opportunities but as Daddy Showkey sung, “shine your eyes well well” This is Lagos!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

UNREQUITED LOVE



A mighty pain to love it is,
And ‘tis a pain that pain to miss,
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love ,but love in vain
· Abraham Cowley

That verse said it all. Unrequited love can be and is one of the most painful experiences ever. It can be worse than a break up. Unrequited love according to the Merriam Webster online dictionary ‘love not reciprocated or returned in kind.’ If you ask me, it is half love, a one-way love. There are two forms or more of it. You love the person, you are great friends, platonic ones but you can’t tell them because you don’t want to ruin a friendship or worse they have someone and don’t see you in that light. You love someone, you see every day, they don’t know you exist but you know they do, maybe you work in the same place, are in the same school but you’ve never met them, you pass each other every day. Then the last, which I describe as the worst because I went through it, you are dating someone in some form of relationship, you love him or her and you think they do same. Then, one day you discover it was all in your head and everything was a lie.
This feeling has nothing to do with sex. They are very strong and genuine; it turns out to be an obsession. It is more painful when you think you had someone then realised you did not. It makes you feel like the world’s greatest fool when you realise you were in love alone. There are certain symptoms of unrequited love,
· Making a fool of yourself.
· You daydream about this person a whole lot.
· You create unrealistic hopes and desires.
· Said partner does not take you out, it is an indoors thing. You meet no member of family, close friends or importantly the mom after a certain period.
· You guys go on and off in the relationship thanks to her or him. One minute you are a couple, next, you are in the friend zone and on it goes because they know you love them. They lead you on.
· They take from you physically, emotionally but never give.
· They always make excuses when you ask them to spend time with you.
· You do the reaching out and practically the whole work. they call on you when they need something in disguise maybe moral support, cash, booty call etc.
· You always make excuses for their behaviour, every time.
· There are certain things the person keeps from you. They do not care to really know you or reveal more of themselves. You are not best friends.

You feel you cannot live without them. Nature is funny, when you love someone who does not love you back; it creates an immense longing for him or her, neediness most times taken advantage of by leading you on or use to kick you in the groin. You look at them and you see all the good, you believe they love you within but do not know how to show it. They are different from their exterior. You believe one day, they will wake up, change and realise that they love you, then see you there. When you find out you were led on, you feel used but you still hope and try to show them that you are the one they have always wanted and waited for. Wake up! You are not.
If your love was not returned, then it was never meant to be. Yes, you feel like your heart has broken into a billion shards that it feels like a heart attack. Rejection does that to people. Things happen for a very good reason. Let me tell you one thing and you should believe me, you do not want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t love you, doesn’t see you, takes you for granted, doesn’t want to really know you, someone who will not share him or herself with you. You do not want to keep being a slave to love, holding on that they will see you someday. No one wants scraps. Do you? You deserve someone that sees you, loves to share and spend time with you. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. You wonder how you will live without them. You just have to have them, even if it means you love them alone. You wonder why they could not love you. Sometimes, they just cannot i.e. if you guys are just friends; it is painful if they make you think they do when they do not. You feel rejected, angry, lost, humiliated but you still love them, you think there is nothing you can do. If you ask me, you are in self-denial and soaking in self-pity, an illusion. You can do something because in the end you will discover it was just an infatuation. Love is not love, if not reciprocated. In my next post, I will share ways to get over an unrequited love. If you have ever been in one. Do share with us by leaving comments. (To be continued)

Friday, October 10, 2014

HOW TO CHANGE PEOPLE

   Change they say is the only constant thing in life. Everything in life goes through a procedure or stages you pick the word you prefer. It is never static. Things move forward, backwards, up, down or sideways, it just has to move. A rock that is in a static position also goes through changes. It doesn’t have to stand up and run. Lol!  Look at the Evolution theory, you and I have come a long way from our Ape days. Let’s visit the Bible; Adam and Eve were naked, then they put on leaves, then the leaves made way for clothes in the time of their children. Then for a while women didn’t wear trousers but now they do and not just that we are reverting back to the Adam and Eve days. What more proof do you need to agree with me that change is constant?
   The right way to have phrased this thought is; ‘Change is the only constant thing in life when it has to do with things, time, fashion and non-humans.’ Change in humans is not constant.

Friday, August 22, 2014

Are you dating a REMORA or are you one????




 You just lost that guy/ girl you thought was the one. He broke your heart into a million pieces and treated you worse than garbage but you still held on till the end because when you first met him he was caring, attentive and flattered you till right about the time you gave up the cookie and WHAM! He changes. You call, text, make trips to his place, sing your love for him but he’s moved on. You sit down in tears dazed by what happened and in walks his friend. He dries your eyes and tells you, you deserve better. That his friend is great but he tried to warn you. He makes you smile and the tears dry up a bit. He listens to you vent and pour out your tears every time and then you begin to see this friend in a new light.  One day, he tells you he’s always had feelings for you but couldn’t say anything because you were dating his friend. Your eyes light up and you sing i lost the wrong one to get the right one. You start seeing each other , you also put out, ‘God bless you ma’am’ . The day you bring up going public and letting his friend know, he says ok. Time passes and nothing happens, it turns into, he can’t do this to his friend. Or he can’t get the images of his friend touching you out of his head. All his friends would talk about it and all that maybe you guys should just stay friends for now until the time is right. Oh don’t get me wrong, some do go public but the relationship always ends.
  It might even be in a reversal ie a girl who broke your heart and her friend swoops in to help you mend it. These people that swoop in are called in my book, a REMORA. Yes, i can hear your brain wheels turning. What is a remora, Frances?
  “A remora fish attaches itself to the belly of a shark. It travels everywhere the shark goes. It eats any parasites on the shark which helps keep the shark clean. It also eats any leftover food from the shark.”
So let me help you break it down further.
  The shark in this equation is that alpha male or female that is handsome, successful and full of themselves (they are sha good at something) and they know it, they can get any girl or guy.
  The remora is their best friend or friend who you see them with everywhere and basks in their shine. These are the shy, not visibly awesome enough friend of the shark ( who says they aren’t handsome but you know what i mean) They don’t have the balls to have you so they wait for their shark friend to have you first. They even help you fall into their friend’s trap because they know they’d be getting you later.

  Who’s the leftover? I’m sorry sugar, you are. Yes, YOU, don’t look behind, you are the shark’s remains. You are in a vulnerable and confused state. Your confidence and oomph has gone down a little, ok maybe a whole lot. *smile*. The shark has left you dazed and in this state you need comforting even from a tiny fish. In swoops the remora *soundtrack playing*
  What service does the remora offer to their shark friend you ask? Come on it is glaring already. They take you off their friend’s back. You don’t belittle yourself with many text messages and go after the shark with a knife or make his life hell as he enjoys his new meal. They also make you feel good about yourself and listen to you vent and cry, they offer you their handkerchief (for their selfish purposes, hehehehehe!). So, no angry, spiteful, crazy you goes after their shark. In return for their service, they have you, the juicy leftover on their plate.
P.S: The shark knows his remora friend had you or will do (they’ve been friends for years and you’re not his first kill.) He either has the shark’s blessings to enjoy his left over or the shark works with him so he can get leftovers later. The PERFECT symbiotic friendship.  A do me, i do you team.
  Guys and ladies, have you ever met one? Think long and hard. Aha! Yes he or she was one. You might even be seeing one now, you can thank me later for saving you the stress *winks*
  Oh and if you just read this and found out that you are a remora, email me for private counselling. How does it feel to be second place and not be a man or woman but enjoy what someone else has had? You need total psych evaluation sha, Mr. and Mrs. second fiddle. Well, on behalf of your sharks, thank you, you’ve done a great job and still are. Get out of their shade and man up; I trained you better than that. Lmao!
  Please feel free to drop your questions, comments and answers below. If you’re not sure you have a remora on your hands, share your story and let’s help you decipher. You think you might be a remora *eyes widen* and you’re not sure, hmmm, share let’s be the judge of that. Either ways, have a beautiful love filled life. Love yourself first and every other thing shall follow suit.

P.S it feels great writing this not inspirational article. *runs away* *comes back* I’m still here for thee. http://youtu.be/GCHxMX9WaNc

                                                            

Friday, August 15, 2014

B-ve trailer (short film)


  presents  , B-ve.




B-ve follows Ivie Okojie (9), a psychotic little boy tired of living in World War Three who is on a mission of love few days to his birthday, to save his mum from an abusive father that hates them both. Does he succeed or not?

A short film Written, Produced and Directed by debutante director and two-time Homevida award winner, Frances Okeke.
Cinematography by Tope Lawanson
With amazing actors like Paul Utomi, Divine Mesh -Masade as Ivie, Femi Amusan,Bukky Thomas,Peace Odiete, Sean Lawson and John Edeh. 

Click on the Video below to watch the trailer.







Couldn't view it? watch it on YouTube, 

http://youtu.be/GCHxMX9WaNc

You can like the Facebook page; www.facebook.com/bnegativefilm  .