Showing posts with label francesbox blog. Show all posts
Showing posts with label francesbox blog. Show all posts

Monday, January 24, 2022

WHO DEFINES PERFECTION?




    We look for it everywhere. In our lives, in others. We look for it in our jobs, our parents, our children, our spouses, and our academic lives and in our relationships. It is the one thing that makes us equals, that search for perfection. The question I ask is; Is there really anything like perfection? We want a perfect job but can we have that alone and be satisfied? If we get it, that is when we realise that there is another part of our lives that needs tweaking up. A perfect life is the one thing that we are always in search of. We are never satisfied with what we have. We want more and better. No one is perfect, though some people seem to think they are and tend to judge others for not living up to their idea of perfection.
    So, what is perfection? Who sets the standard and says what is perfect or not? What and who defines a perfect relationship, a perfect

Thursday, March 12, 2015

SEARCHING FOR JOHNNY 4 (fiction)

‘Tessa what are you doing here o? ‘
   I hate going to the mall in the evening. It’s always like a market square, ok, worse than that.  It’s four pm and yet... I don’t know what mum sees in this mall’s bread. She begged me to buy it and now I’ve been told the bread is not ready, I have to wait for two hours. God knows if I leave now, I’d never come back which has led me to this fast food to enjoy this tasteless minced pie.
Uuurggghhh!!!
   Some fast foods should be shut down. Don’t they taste what they...no way...is that? Yes it is. I hope he can’t see me? Nope! Another reason why I hate the mall, you see people you don’t want to see.
   He still looks good. I haven’t seen him in four years. Luke Ogbodo. I would have been married to him; I think or at least dated him if only he’d seen me. Why is my heart beating really fast? Should I go over and say hi before he sees me? Should I hide? Nah! He won’t be able to see me all the way from that fast food across with people passing in the middle.
   Luke was the one guy I ever really liked. We’d known for three years but our relationship never went past the bedroom. Yes God, the sex was great and kinky, really really great. I’m getting wet thinking about it. (Lol). I developed feelings and I told him I liked him, he said he liked me too. I’m never vulnerable, I don’t trust easily and I show no feelings but I did with him. I wanted more than just being fuck buddies. I thought he felt same.  I was invited to a party by a guest and that’s how I met Bola. She could talk sha. I’ve never met anyone that meets you within an hour and downloads her personal file to you.
   One night after three rounds of mind blowing sex, he began to ask me how my day went. I didn’t feel like talking but he kept asking so I told him I ran into a mutual friend called Bola Adeyinka. He sat up fast in bed and asked;
‘I pray you didn’t make me look bad before her? Did you tell her about us?’
   Something died in me that night. I told him no and he went on that he hopes so. I told him she said he likes her that they met at his place two days before and they kissed and stuff. He didn’t deny it. He told me he really liked her that it didn’t mean he didn’t like me too but she’s loving and caring. She’s very playful and fun to chat with. She gets him that he wants to be a friend to her and if I told her about us it would hurt her. She’s had so many bad things happen to her and she’s learning to trust him though her problem was that he had too many girls around him. He wants to be close to her and be someone she can rely on even if they don’t date and he would never hurt her, if they date then it’s God’s will that he really hopes I said nothing.
   I assured him I didn’t because I didn’t and I prayed things work out for them.
   Kels told me I was very stupid that I should have told him the truth. The truth was and is that Bola is bisexual. She was more of a lesbian because she enjoyed sex more with girls. (Lol). I told her nothing about Luke and I and I told Luke nothing about her female lovers.
   Kels insisted then that I should have at least fought for him. I think that’s stupid. I might be a sex freak but I want what my mum and dad had; real love. Someone that likes you and just you, you don’t question if they do or not, it’s evident by their actions besides, who wants to play second fiddle or be a back up for some other girl?
‘Tessa you’re getting emotional o!’
   But it’s true. I want acceptance, some guy that looks at me and knows it’s me he wants. His telling me all that told me the answer I sought; I was just a fuck buddy to him, always was, always will be. She was the ONE to him.
   One thing Kels doesn’t understand till date is, you don’t and should never compete for a guy. That’s going stupid. Choose a person that chooses you. If he wants some other girl, pull out of the picture and let him have her.
‘Tessa you don turn relationship counsellor for your mind. (Lol)’
   Luke and Bola were perfect for each other. He had a saviour complex that only wanted timid pour my problems on you girls that he could save and Bola had the damsel in distress, let me tell you my deepest problems so you can like me syndrome (lol).
   They’ve been married, three years now. I guess Bola realised he was the perfect cover and Luke could never divorce her cause he had an image to protect. Maybe he knew she was bi and thought his mojo and love could save her and be enough (lmfao).
   Kels told me, he found out about Bola’s recent girlfriend, some hot Brazilian chic. He caught them in bed. The news is about town.
   Kels can be funny sometimes, asking me if he comes back for me, would I take him. HELL NO!  Who wants a Tokunbo man? Because the love of your life that you chose turns out to be a mistake, you now remember the poor girl you left behind. Lol!
   I’m six feet of gorgeousness. I’m stubborn,i'm confident, I love sex, I’m crazy, I’m kind and loving if you show it first, I’m a believer of actions not words, anyone who gives up all of this for all of whatever, doesn’t deserve a second of my time.
‘Wait! Did Kels tell him I’ll be here????’
   Thank God, he’s leaving. He’s aged ten years in just three years. I pity him...pity! That’s why my heart was beating fast. Poor Luke!
   I have a blind date next tomorrow. All part of my Johnny quest thanks to Uzo and Kels who sings I have to meet men, go on dates. (Lol)
‘I wonder what he’d be like. There are lots of crazy men in this town sha.’
One hour more to burn here before the infamous bread gets ready. Tessa, you should have just seen a movie.



You reading, you do understand that all content on this site are copyrighted, my intellectual property and can’t be lifted off into any other form of media? Ok, we’re cool. 

Friday, February 27, 2015

SEARCHING FOR JOHNNY 3 (fiction)

  Hmmmm! That feels really good. Just a little bit to the left, now right. I’m almost there. Oh this is it. Dear God! This is.....What the fuck?
  Tessa, rearrange fast.
‘No work today?’
‘Mum, you can’t just enter my room like that now.’
  God, please don’t let her see James. I’d do hundred Hail Mary’s. I’ll even sweep the church for a month. This woman should go now. She’s still standing there, looking at me suspiciously.
‘What?’
‘You look feverish. Tessa are you sick?’
  Is she reaching out to tuck me in? James!
‘No! I’m fine mummy. I slept late that’s why.’
‘Nne, you work too hard. Let me warm the leftover pepper soup for you.’
‘Mum don’t stress yourself.’
  Why is she laughing?
‘If I don’t take care of you, is it your dead father I’ll take care of?’
‘Mummy!’
‘Don’t move. I’ll be back with the soup.’
  Pheeew! That was close. I love mum to bits but she has a problem with boundaries. I can just imagine her reaction if she’d seen James, my giant dildo inside me as she opened the door. (Laugh). Thank God for bed sheets and duvets.
  I’d agreed with my besties; Uzo and Kels, to hold on for the right guy. Well, doesn’t mean I can’t have sex any other way. A dildo isn’t a man. Is using a dildo, fornication? Nah! It isn’t a person, no sin here. Now, where was I? This battery better not die on me today.
That feels.....Not again!
  My virginal sister, arms akimbo, disapproving look on her face staring down at me.
‘Is it that everyone in this house has a problem with knocking?’ I thundered as I dove for cover.
‘Tessa, you shouldn’t use that demonic thing.’
  Is she about to cry?
‘What demonic thing?’
  Let’s see if she can say the name.
‘That thing!’ She pointed at James.
‘What thing Joan?’
Ok, Tessa, no laugh. So, because person na virgin, im no fit call Peepee, Penis, Toto, Junior, Dick...Tessa, concentrate.
‘Can’t you say it?’
‘That disgusting thing!’
  Ok, time to push. Let me put it in my mouth. If it was possible for Joan to have a heart attack at twenty-seven, she just did.
‘Tessa!!!!!’
  The door swung open at her shrieking. Mum dropped the pepper soup on seeing me. Chai! What lie do I tell now?
                            ******************************************
‘Theresa!’
That’s my, you’re in trouble name.
‘Yes ma.’
  I use ma when I know, I’m in trouble.
‘What was that thing in your mouth?’
  We gather round the dining table whenever anyone’s in trouble. If I could slap Joan without arousing suspicion, I for brush am teytey. See her eyes like cat own. I’m sure she’s dying to see how I get out of this. My mum still thinks I’m a virgin.
‘Theresa, I’m talking to you.’
  Mum looks prettier angry. How come I’ve never noticed?
‘Mum, it’s her thing?’
‘Thing for?’ my mum asked.
‘It’s my cheek massager.’
  If Joan doesn’t close her shocked mouth, I swear, I’ll slap her for real.
‘Cheek massager kwa?’
‘Yes mum. Remember I told you I was tired. I had pains round my tooth and my cheeks hurt, so it helps with the pain.’
  Hmmm! If my mum, knew what she’s inspecting all over was the oyibo version of a penis that can do things (laugh).
‘Don’t put it in your mouth!’ Joan screamed.
‘Mum, it can’t be shared.’
‘Ehen!’
‘Yes ma!’ Joan and I replied.
‘It’s like a toothbrush, it can’t be shared.’ I added
‘Why does it look like a man’s organ?’
  Mum try pass Joan sef.
‘You know this oyibo people can be funny.’
  We laughed different shades of laughter. Lol!
‘In that case, buy me one for Father Sixtus. His toothache......’
  Ok, I’m in my head again and I’ve zoned out. Joan looks like she’s about to puke. Dear God, what will be the headline:  “REV FR. CAUGHT WITH DILDO IN MOUTH, CALLS IT CHEEK MASSAGER”
Tessa, think, think.
‘It’s out of stock! Joan to the rescue.
‘Yes mum, it is. They were checking the reception in the Nigerian market.’ I buttressed.
‘Ok dear. Joan, no work?’
‘It’s public hol.’
‘Good! Tessa, go back to bed, let me make fresh pepper soup.’
Ok, let me warn Joan with my eyes before she spills. She’ll get the message. Perfect! She did.

  I’m taking a sex break on men and now my James is on one too. There’s Mr Right out there, but where?
*********************************************************************************
Check me out in this short film:  https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KEggln4eyNQ

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Please vote for my friends nominated for the AMVCAs i beg thee. Voting ends this saturday 28th February at midnight.

Kehinde Bankole( the pretty dimpled cheek teacher in October 1) for best actress in a drama  https://connect.dstv.com/4.0.863/en-ZA/Login/?returnUrl=http%3A%2F%2Famvca2015-awards.dstv.com%2FCategory%2F525%2FNominee%2FNominee%2F4905

Wole Ojo (have you seen Maami featuring Funke Akindele. The short film 'Brave'?) for best actor in a Drama http://amvca2015-awards.dstv.com/NomineeCategory/505

Kelechi Udegbe (have you seen the Officer Titus series? He's officer Titus) for best actor in a comedy
http://amvca2015-awards.dstv.com/NomineeCategory/495

Thank you and God bless you as you vote and share with your family, friends and acquaintances. Cheers! 

Saturday, January 31, 2015

MAKING LEMONADE!

  I don’t know if you’ve ever hit a brick wall when running or if you have ever fallen from a height? That feeling of helplessness, wishing you could stop the movement but there is no brake pedal, no pause button.  You are shocked when you hit the wall. You weren’t expecting it to be there or feel the wind beneath your foot before you fall. When they told you ‘life is not fair’ or ‘life is hard’ when you were little, you’ll never understand what that means until you hit that brick wall. You hit it hard, and then the sayings will come back to you. If life were as easy as the adverts on TV make it look, we’d all be happy, living in mansions. There’d be no poor people, no homeless people, no labourers, no market women, and no shop attendants. Everyone will have enough to spare, with the perfect life, family and no one would have to work or do what they don’t want to do just to have a little cash in their pockets to survive with.
  When life hits you hard, it doesn’t just hit you anywhere.

Sunday, January 18, 2015

CRISIS IN THE HEALTH SECTOR

  Nobody likes to be taken for granted. People get discouraged when their efforts are seen as nothing and another’s as greater. It builds a huge feeling of inferiority and hatred for the loved party.
  Right from the days of old, doctors have always been considered a big deal; they’ve always had nurses and other health professionals that work with them to ensure the health of the people. It’s the norm. It doesn’t mean the nurses and other medical workers are inferior, it’s just the way it is but doesn’t stop them from feeling inferior?
  In all the great medical Television shows that have been made ,from  Grey’s anatomy to house, Hart of Dixie to ER, emphasis has always been on the doctors, I’m yet to see any made about other medical professionals except Hawthorne and ...ok, I’m blank. The emphasis is not on the doctors because they are more important but they are the head of the team. It’s the fact.
  Everyone loves doctors. You hear some girls sing they must marry a doctor, parents and other members of societies welcome doctors but not other medical professionals. People get better in the hospitals, they come back to show appreciation and it’s the doctors they give the presents to; how are these the doctors fault?
  Back to the main story; there’s been an ongoing strike two months plus now by the JOHESU (Joint health staff union) and other professional medical bodies. I’m sure most Nigerians are clueless about this. They’ve been on numerous strikes. The last before this, the federal hospitals were kept running by the doctors who doubled up as nurses, radiologists, etc. This time, they went ahead to lock up all hospital equipment, medicine, forms and what not before embarking on the strike.  You can’t have any surgery done in any federal hospital, you can’t even be admitted. The doctors are trying their best.
  I have family and friends on the opposite sides.  I asked my friends who are members of JOHESU and they went on rants about doctors. So, I investigated further. Some of the reasons for the JOHESU strike are: they want to be addressed as consultants; they want to be made CMDs (chief medical directors in hospitals).
  Please, pick up your dictionary or Google the term ‘Consultant’, how does this tally with what they do? Let’s be sincere, do you stroll into a hospital to consult with a nurse, a lab scientist, a radiologist, a pharmacist etc? Would you be satisfied if they operate on you? Or diagnose your illness? The pharmacists argue that they make the drugs; hence they should be the ones to prescribe them, not doctors. Where in the world is that done? Even in the US, no one will sell you drugs in any pharmacy or drugstore without a doctor’s prescription.
  Who should be made a Chief Medical Director of a hospital? I leave that to you to answer. Some hospitals are run by boards, ok most are but the chief Medical Directors are always either doctors or management personnel.
  Remember when doctors went on strike and Nigerians rose up to castigate and curse them, well, here are the reasons why they went on that strike. Most of the reasons stated were for their patients. Do you know, if that doctor treating you has a prick or anything e.g. during the Ebola crisis, five thousand Naira is what covers their lives (hazard).

 
 

  
   Here are the reasons for the JOHESU two months plus strike.
“I. Adjustment of CONHESS salary as done for the NMA in the same sector.
ii. Payment of Arrears on skipping of CONHESS 10 since year 2010.
iii. Promotion of our members from CONHESS 14 to 15 for over ten years.
iv. Appointment of our members as Chief Medical Directors.
v. Abolition of the post of Deputy Chairman, Medical Advisory Committee.
vi. Immediate circularization of retirement age of Healthcare workers from 60 to 65 years.
vii. Immediate payment of arrears of Specialist allowance to all Hospital based Healthcare Professionals who possess relevant post graduate qualification that is, MSc, Phd or post graduate fellowship who had attained the Consultant grade level 14 in the public service or CONHESS 13 in the Teaching Hospital sector and above.
viii. Immediate release of circular amending the extant circular for Medical Laboratory Scientists Interns to include post NYSC placement on grade level 09 step 2 and the upgrading of stale Officers across board.
ix. Others.  “

  I do not blame them for stating their grievances but what happened to the patients they are meant to care for? Thanks to a government that is interested in polls, every time they go on strike because they’re a union and elections are near, nothing happens. They want to earn more than the doctors, etc what about your patients?
  In the Nigerian Education system, most students from science class apply for medicine in the universities but most are bumped down to Biochemistry, Microbiology, and Pharmacy etc. Some do get into Medical school only to fail and then fall back on the other medical science courses. So all that plus treatment from people, this is the result.  Does the fact that they aren’t doctors make their work any less important? NO! They don’t seem to be professionals enough to understand this; every field has its leader. You can be great in your field with years of experience, working with doctors and other members of the team, it still doesn’t make you a doctor. Yeah, medical doctors have been called pompous right from medical school, truth be told, if I knew as much as they did about the human body and be able to save a life, pass exams after going through hordes of textbooks, diseases and etc, the confidence oozing out of me would be awesome, you’d hate me for it.
  It’ like a bailiff, going up in arms against judges and saying, he’s been there for years, what do judges know that he doesn't. He should be and deserves to be made the Chief Judge of a state etc. It’s not possible! You have to pass through the necessary steps.
  A gaffer in a film production company says he should be put in charge of a movie production and the director of the film should answer to him, everyone should answer to him not the director. That’s sheer madness. It’s the director that is recognized mainly when films are out but does it make the other professionals that worked on the film less important? NO! But it doesn't make them directors either.
  I can understand the pain in being neglected and looked down upon, it’s not the doctors’ fault. Doctors don’t work alone, they work with you, you’re an important member of their team, and I think doctors need to recognise this if they don’t. It still doesn’t make you a doctor.
 It’s sad that they’ve been on strike over two months now and no one has really noticed, not the government, not the people. Doctors went on strike the last time and within a day, the news was everywhere. We should learn to appreciate other health workers, not just doctors who are professionals in their fields but it doesn’t make them doctors still.
  Everyone should take pride in their work. Even the Holy Books say it. I hope the Nigerian government because of elections and votes don’t do something that hasn’t been done anywhere in the world and listen to words borne out of sentiments, insecurity and inferiority complex. (Well, anything goes in Nigeria, sadly)
  If you feel envious of doctors, think you deserve to be like them, get the respect, deserve to be called a consultant, be made a CMD, it’s never too late, do it the right and professional way, go back to medical school and go through the process: medical school, houseman ship, NYSC, primaries, junior residency, senior residency and then become a consultant.
  Please let’s end this unending animosity for doctors and be the professionals that we are. Your work is important in a hospital; I recognise and appreciate this, everyone should too. Doctors, appreciate your team, and Nigerians encourage and appreciate them too. It still doesn’t make you a doctor, a consultant or a CMD candidate.  
  Let’s all join hands and make our health sector better. There are things that need to be fought for (top priority). We need doctors and every health worker to be the team they should be and save our lives. I say a big thank you to all health workers. Be the professionals that you are.

 (Imagine if the JOHESU set grievances aside and teamed up with the doctors to push for a raise in their fees, health hazard, better hospitals and National health insurance e.t.c. together. Just a thought)

Saturday, January 3, 2015

THE CARPETBAGGERS ARE HERE!!!

THE CARPETBAGGERS ARE HERE!

(Hehehehe at the picture. Wrote this during the 2011 presidential elections. It struck a chord in me, elections are in February, so here it is, four years after and still true.)

   Guess what song is playing in my head? A song by Fela on suffering and smiling, oops! Wait the song has changed to Jayz’s ‘roc boys.’
Today is the day. What day is that you may ask? Nigeria’s presidential elections. Am I going to vote? No! Why? I have been disenfranchised. I will get to that part of the story.

   The first time I became aware of my country’s politicking ways was at the age of five. It was 1993, I was in school singing ‘jack and Jill went up the hill...’ we never finished that rhyme because like a swarm of bees, parents came to pick their wards. It was morning and I was surprised. Our teachers started leaving too. My friends were all gone. My elder brother came to drag me from class until our driver arrived. Everywhere, people were in a frenzy, shops were locking up, businesses closing down. There were riots. On the windscreen of each car were green leaves, I still wonder what that symbolised. The radio was on and a funny voice that had problems with letters like ‘F’ and 'P' came on. All I heard was ‘Coup’. As we drove home, people were protesting on the streets, soldiers were there to kill it or them. Cars were damaged, I saw people getting beat up. Lagos was in a windstorm. We got home I heard dad saying over the phone
“the election has been annulled. Military has taken over. Everywhere is in chaos”
CNN was covering it with their usual attention to details they give to other countries not theirs. The next day we left for our village till things quelled down. Thus started the reign of General Abacha, a name I got to hear frequently until the day he died, I was still in elementary school. You should have been there to see the jubilation; people were buying drinks for neighbours and friends. I sat in front of the television, watching CNN. Hey, I have always loved to be in the know learnt that from my dad. I was watching the TV with dad. That day, I heard different stories from different sources; news stations, newspapers, neighbours, family on how he died. Some said he died of a poisoned apple brought in by two beautiful ladies, some heart attack, others assassinated by the leaders of the developed world. All rejoiced that the man called tyrant was dead. His VP took over until....

   ‘Democracy is here’ was the slogan for the 1999 election. The military was handing over and the people were happy. According to them, the military was the root of the nation’s problems. Everyone was happy that civilian rule was back and the people were rid of tyrants. I remained indifferent to it all. Then a man won the election. I heard different stories on that too; he was just released from prison. Some powerful men went to meet him in prison and persuaded him to come out as president. I was amazed at the rags to riches story until I discovered he was a former military president before my birth. I pondered again ‘They say the military is the problem, why bring in a military man under civilian clothes. Once a pig always a pig, so, once a military man always a military man.’  I never really witnessed military rule but His I believe is the definition. His witch hunters tagged a crime commission and other means created by him hunted all opponents. People watched their steps and words. The people groaned
‘He is the problem of the nation.’
This was tyranny cloaked in democracy. He was the master of the game. With him came his infamous political party **People's Democratic party. Election came once more but he remained. The party was dragged to court over electoral misconducts but the judiciary I believe loved their lives so nothing happened. He plotted a third term but higher bodies, lol, warned him! It was killed.
   He got wiser the next elections.
‘If I can’t stay in power I shall put in my minion.’
First day I saw this minion on TV, I said to myself
‘This man looks like a sickler or someone with HIV.’
 Little did I know I was right in a distorted way, his reign was not his but that of another because he was ill. It became a game of chess and a puppet show.  Well, the man died, in came the VP. The north said no, thanks to zoning in Nigerian politics, which has become a turn-by-turn shenanigan of cowboys and Indians, lol!
   The VP was wise. He played on his name to build a brand. They say the name has brought him good luck from his elementary school days. He replaces others. He brings good luck to himself and bad luck to others. The political parties are singing
 'People’s party is the problem remove them and put us. We are better.’

   The brooms and umbrellas go for each other’s jugular. The witch hunter of the former umbrella president becomes the broom bearer. It is all ironical if you ask me. Pen is a former military ruler with a clergy as vice.The celebrities rally around for the umbrella's bad luck. They say they were not paid; they are doing it because they support him. Kick me in the butt because I think I am dreaming. One thing I have learnt about politics is nothing goes for nothing. Fine, they might not have been paid in currency but imagine if the umbrella succeeds at the polls and remains in power of course they will reap in benefits. I have learnt this rule from the age of five.

Here comes the question, who are the carpetbaggers?
 Carpetbaggers according to Wikipedia  ;In United States history, "carpetbaggers" was a pejorative term Southerners gave to Northerners (also referred to as Yankees) who moved to the South during the Reconstruction era, between 1865 and 1877.
The term referred to the observation that these newcomers tended to carry "carpet bags," a common form of luggage at the time (sturdy and made from recycled carpet). It was used as a derogatory term, suggesting opportunism and exploitation by the outsiders
   Ok, yes, I love the novel of same title. Who are the carpetbaggers in Nigeria? They are the politicians, the political parties. They are all the same; there is no saint amongst them. The military and the civilian, all same. Let them have the opportunity to enter as the umbrella did and they might do worse. As they sing, ‘a chair is still a chair, even if there is no one sitting there.’ Pot calling kettle black is the Nigerian political story. As I type, the usual is going on.  They all make promises. I know it is hard for someone to enter and not loot, fine, do it but also do some work. Let us feel the change then if we hear you looted we can say at least you made a change. Do not just loot and do no work. Rigging is going on everywhere. The truth behind my country is let the best man win. The best man here means the best rigger. The person with the best tactics wins, not the best man.
  Now, back to my disenfranchisement. I registered in Benin but I am in Lagos now, so I cannot vote. Who said I was not going to vote? I will but it will not be done personally by me, it shall be done for me. Check the database of voters,my name shall be there but how are they to know I am not the one that threw the ballot in. stupid is what I call the system. They are all opportunists and exploiters with sugar tongues and heavy pockets ,laden with stolen money.
Vote people, one-day e go better. If you vote, they cannot use your data for you.
Vote for me people. I am the best candidate . THE CARPETBAGGERS ARE HERE!!!!

And that's the end. The Nigerian Presidential elections are on the 14th of February, 2015, State is on the 28th of Feb. 2015. Will you vote? Where will you stand in your nation's history?
Be Pro-Nigerian!!! 

Saturday, December 27, 2014

COMPETING WITH OTHERS

   
You left school, three years ago. Your mates are already serving and working, you look at them and you feel like a failure. You are working but you ran into a friend last week, she has a sweet ride, married, her husband is rich and she’s working in a great firm. You look at your life and decide it is rubbish. She’s leading a better life than you are. Your mates are all married and you are not, you look at them with envy and wonder why your life is cursed. You ask yourself what you did wrong, why can’t you be like them.
  Tonye was your junior in school but now he owns his own firm. He’s a big boy, a confirmed one. He has a house and cars, not rented. You walk into your one room and cry. Why is he successful while you are not? What have you done wrong?
  Every day we look at people and wonder why we don’t have what they have. We tell ourselves their lives are better than ours. We see the clothes, shoes, bags, houses, cars; spouses and we comment to ourselves that our lives are not worth it. We ask God, why does Stella have this and we don’t. That little envy appears each time we see their updates on Blackberry, Facebook, Twitter and other social media sites. Sometimes we even add, ‘I’m better than Tony.’ ‘I deserve all this and not her.’
  When we plan, we add ‘I’ll make it more than Tony has already.’ ‘My husband will be better and richer than Funmi’s.’
  Do you know you are in competition with no one but yourself? They are not competing with you. That Tony, Funmi, and Stella you are looking at and basing your life and your success with theirs are not you. You’re not them either. You have had different backgrounds, roads, opportunities, your dreams, desires are all totally different. You may have met Funmi’s husband and you wouldn’t want him because what you want in a man is different from what she wants.  Wherever they are now, you didn’t follow the same path they did. Maybe their family got them the job or they had a nest egg somewhere to start up or their field is in acting while yours is in banking. You are not same with anyone on this planet so why measure your success with theirs?
  Look at your dreams which you alone have and mark your progression and success. Yes, you might both be in banking together and he’s been promoted but you haven’t. He made different choices as they appeared before him. You might even be working in different banking firms or same but in different locales and with different bosses. Why worry your head over another man? Work on yourself and your dreams. You set your score mark for yourself. If you are in A now tell yourself you want to move and work towards getting to B next time. If your friend gets to C, remember you are not in his shoes and you don’t have same thought processes, opportunities and choices and keep moving on with your goals. Accept your life and the choices you’ve made, if you want more make it happen and not condemning your life by calling others better.

  Set your goals higher and move from where you are because you want to. Beat the score mark you had the last time. You are not in competition with me, him, her, them, and us but with you. Beat yourself! I know it's that time of the year when we evaluate achievements and milestones done in the year.

Thank you for reading! Hope my thought helps you somehow as it did me.

 Happy New Year in advance and good luck with your resolutions and plans. Cheers!

Saturday, December 13, 2014

THE LAND OF GERINIA!


Once upon a time, in a far away land called Gerinia, lived a great people. The land of Gerinia had comprised of different villages and clans before they were forced to come together under one name. Before they became one, they fought many wars amongst themselves. The land was blessed with milk and honey by the gods. Other villages saw this and wanted to steal it from Gerinia. They were conquered but later became free thanks to some of the noble villagers. The people’s eyes were now open thanks to the invasion. Formerly in the days of yore, they were contented with little, thanks to the merging of the villages and clans into one; they knew there was more available from the different villages. They wanted little no more.
They had to elect leaders for the new village. The leaders all wanted what the invaders wanted, to exploit the people, to take the milk and honey for themselves. Monsters, the lochness monster, goliaths, ruled the magical land. The villagers groaned and cried. They were suffering. They attributed their misery to members of a particular clan that had ruled them repeatedly.
In the village of Gerinia, lived a young man called Elebe. He was from one of the smallest clans. He was blessed with that name by a god. The name was to take fortune from others and give to this young man. He from the poor background and small clan excelled. He that never had shoes growing up. He that was laughed at by others. He understood the game. He seemed quiet and meek from the exterior. He wanted to get to the top. He joined the biggest men in the land. He ass kissed and obeyed. He always took over from others. He carried on until the highest position in the land was within his grasp. He had studied the people well. His name once again played in his favour. He got the town criers, the court jesters and the village drama group to sing his praises. The people listened. They thought to themselves. ‘This young man’s name has been good to him maybe he will bring that goodness to us.’
‘He is from the small clans and not the clan that has put us in so much misery.’
‘He is the saviour we have been waiting for.’
‘He is too good to pass up.’
‘This is the messiah of the people.’
They fought for him. They killed all the men that rose up against their messiah. They admired his gentility and soft speech. The village elders called the men vying for the leadership position to come and address them. Elebe did not go. Elebe might have had good intentions for the people but he lost it on the way. The people excused his absence. He won and became the leader. The people rejoiced with him. They relaxed and said to themselves, our sufferings are over.
Elebe lost his good intentions. The asses he kissed to get to where he was wanted more. He ran and got advisers. He listened to everything he was told and carried them out without questioning. He forgot the people that saw him as their messiah. He turned into the biggest lochness monster the village had ever known and seen. He let them suffer. He would tell them it was for their own good, to make the village bigger and greater. At first, they believed him but this monster grew in size every day. The people cried and killed themselves.
One day, they decided they had had enough when he passed a new heavy law on them. They picked up their hoes, pitchforks and set out to kill the monster named Elebe. Yes, Elebe had lost his good intentions, ambition had shattered it. The villagers decided to be their own messiahs. They fought for their freedom. The villagers of Gerinia looked for different means to vanquish the monster called Elebe but he refused to be vanquished. They decided to elect leaders who would lead them in the fight. One of the elected leaders was called Balour. Balour was a valiant soldier but he was a man. The people listened to him more. They placed all their trust in him. They showered him with praises and submitted all they had to him. Balour felt good. He had never tasted such power before. He thought about all the rubies he could garner from this. He gathered the people and they decided to stop work. No farmers would till the land, no anglers would fish, no palm wine tappers would tap, and the markets would be empty. That day, the villagers trooped out in their thousands. They marched the pathways and the streams. They sang the protest song in unison.
Elebe knew what the villagers wanted but he refused to give it to them. He had worked too hard to get to where he was. He was not going to let anyone ruin it for him. He sent his soldiers, the goblins after them. Some of the villagers were killed. His advisers told him not to worry, that hunger would send the people back home and to their vocations. It did not work, the protests increased. It went on for nigh a moon. Elebe ,called a secret meeting with Balour. He offered Balour rubies and diamonds. They cooked up a plan. He called for an open meeting with Balour, the whole town was aware of this. Balour and his men stormed out of the meeting. They told the villagers that Elebe was not serious. A second open meeting was called. Elebe reduced the law. Balour stormed out, that it was not enough. He told the villagers to stay in their houses. The people sang balour’s praises. Later that day, Balour called off the protest. The people of Gerinia were happy to return to work. They said Balour had tried his best. Balour and Elebe held another secret meeting. They rejoiced, their plan had worked. The people of Gerinia were happy. They had won. Have they??
Remember occupy Nigeria? (written January 18,2012)
Elections are coming; what will be your stand next year?

Saturday, December 6, 2014

REVELATIONS



(Welcome to the season of weddings)

 Do you believe in revelations? Do you take them as said or do you pray over them and hope for the best? Let me joggle your mind and give you some clarity.
  Anne and Bryan had been dating since their secondary school days. They were the perfect couple; best friends, lovers and all. People envied them, people admired them. They were the couple you looked at and wondered about what you had. Their relationship was in its tenth year. They were both done with school and working in very good firms. Bryan decided it was time to make her his legally on paper. He proposed and of course Anne accepted. Their families knew each other already, there wasn’t supposed to be any problem. Bryan’s mum decided to take him to her church for prayers before he took that big step. The pastor goes into ‘prayers’ says he has a revelation that Anne isn’t Bryan’s wife that his real wife is on the way. If he gets married to Anne he would never be successful in life and she wouldn’t bear him enough kids.  Bryan’s whole family turned on Anne when they heard. Bryan was forbidden to marry Anne, he was made to see reason and he gave up Anne. A perfect relationship died.
  Segun always attended church. He was a zealous member. There was this lady in church he admired. One day he decided to fast and pray so the Lord would reveal his future spouse to him in a dream. Guess whose face came up, this lady he admired. He went up to her and told her he had a revelation from God that she was his wife. She told him, she was engaged and didn’t get any revelation from God.
  Lola was tired of the single life; she was thirty and was scared her birds would soon be fried up. She met a great guy, Paul and they fell in love. Marriage bells were ringing for Lola. Paul loved her to bits. She followed a friend to a church  after her friend pleaded and she was told that Paul was a good man but Paul’s family was bad that she shouldn’t step into his family meaning she shouldn’t marry Paul. How was Lola going to step away after she had found love after searching for so long?
  Phyllis took her intended to her church and the pastor told her Uche wasn’t her husband that her husband was in the church.
  I could go on and on. I have heard a lot. I’m not trying to judge the power of revelations or shouldn’t I? How do these revelations come about? Are they based on prejudice and bias; maybe the person is not a church member or is from a different tribe? God gave us freewill. Isn't doing this like going to meet a fortune teller or diviner to cast lots for you? What happened to getting married to the person and letting God, lead you on your journey together, trusting in God? And if the revelation is true, doesn’t prayer conquer all, can’t you pray and the problem gets treated by God via prayers? They just say it and that’s it, what the hell happened to praying about it? How do you tell when God says this is the person’s soul mate? Does that really exist in quote? Or do we give these men of God so much power that they can say what they please and we believe it’s from God? What happened to praying after you get the revelation, I ask again?

  Asides my numerous questions, what do you really think about ‘revelations’?  Have you or someone you know ever experienced one? Do you believe these revelations? I’d love to hear your thoughts on the matter and would you let a revelation stop you? 

 Merry Christmas !

Saturday, November 29, 2014

THAT SATURDAY AFTERNOON

                  
It was one of those hot Lagos Saturday afternoons. I was in a bus; I could feel the sweat trickling down my back. ‘I think this ozone layer thing is turning out to be a worldwide problem’ I grumbled irritated as I dabbed my face with my handkerchief. Beside me was an elderly woman of 50, dressed to the hilt for one of our famous Lagos owambe parties, which happened everywhere on Saturdays. We lagosians love our owambe parties. Her gele (headgear) was so huge I had to turn my head sideways to prevent it from entering my eyes in case the bus fell into a pot hole. I tried hard not to stare at her because her makeup was like that of an Adanma masquerade. I wondered who let her out of the house, old mama youngy.
My ass was beginning to ache. The seat on the bus was made of wood and the journey was long. I was on my way to Satellite Town to see or rather console a friend of mine who just had a bad break up. A guy she had been dating for four years just upped and left her. She had been crying on phone to me all morning so I  decided to pack an overnight bag and get over to her house before she did something stupid because a guy not worthy of her left her, I never liked Rafe. Therefore, there I was in a Mile 2 bus, travelling from one end of Lagos to another. I was busy looking out the window admiring the changes Governor Fashola had done to Lagos. I tried not to listen in on the conversation my fellow passengers were having when I heard it.
“Ah! Oga, wetin dey inside this bag?”
Immediately , I turned, the lady who spoke was in her twenties, very pretty and the man she addressed looked like a knock off version of 50cent with the fake diamond chain (bling bling) hanging round his neck and a baggy jeans. He tried to cover the girl's mouth, pleading with her
"Please, keep quiet” Naturally, my interest and that of every passenger on the bus was piqued. An old man sitting by the young lady asked her “My dear, what is your business with what he’s carrying?” She looked at him defiantly
“Papa, na my business o! A corner of the bag is open and I think, no! I am sure I saw dollars in the bag. What if the police stop this bus or worse the EFCC?” We all looked at him for confirmation. He said, “Please, I beg y’all, don’t turn me in. I’ll tell y’all the truth” “I been living in the states for years. I worked in the toilets, washed dishes, washed dead bodies and did all sorta menial jobs. I sent every penny I made home to my uncle to keep for me, then, I got deported man. So, off I go to me uncle’s to get my money and he starts telling me all sorta stories” he said in his knock off abi fake American accent, if you ask me. “He tells me I sent him no money,” he continued “One day, I wait till he goes off to work; I sneak into his place and find this bag of dollars, my money. Please understand” he finished. Some passengers were saying “ee yah!” “Thank God!” “People can be wicked, Olorun ma je (God forbid)!”  “Na wa o!” The rest led by the young lady screamed “ Driver stop this bus” “ I no wan go prison o” “ bros, even if na u get d moni, u steal am, u b thief” He kept on begging, then he said “ Please, don’t turn me in. I’m willing to share the money with all of you” Trust Nigerians, their eyes chook open “eeeh!” “Bros, u serious?”  “Ok!” “That’s better, for our trouble and silence.” My mind kept thinking and my heart was beating erratically. I wondered the kind of trouble I just landed myself. These people might be 419ers’, ritualists or even the famous one chance people. I kept quiet throughout the whole fiasco.
  We were heading towards the Oshodi expressway when the young lady said “Bros, Ur idea good sha but me, I will not collect stolen money. We have to bless that money” “I will not touch cursed money. I know a big man of God, a Pastor, he stays around Oshodi here.” She continued, “But he’s very expensive”
“Sister, that’s a very good idea,” the old woman beside me said. Warning bells were ringing in my head seriously. “So, young lady, like how much will it cost?”
“It’s very expensive o, like N500,000”
“Ah! That’s very expensive, is he buying a new car”
Everybody in the bus was complaining until the old man said, “I have a solution. Let’s all contribute the little we have, a little drop of water makes a mighty ocean”
“Baba, that’s a very good idea” they agreed.
“Thanks y’all” the 50-cent knock off said.
“Ok! Everybody, How much do you have on you?” They started mentioning how much they had. Then they turned to me
“Sister, how much u get?”
I looked at them and said; “I don’t have any money on me” My mind was spinning. I knew I had to get off the bus. I remembered stories of people who had found themselves in the same situation. Some are raped; some lose all their money, some for rituals, some thrown off the bus. Men! Was I in big trouble. My eyes darted left and right, we were in a traffic jam.
“Driver, please I wan get down” I said. The young lady looked at me surprised,
“ Haba! Sister, u no won make moni? Just bring any amount you have”

 I was panicking
“Driver, I said I want to get down” the driver ignored me. They all tried to convince me on why I should join. Are they stupid? I thought. Do I look like a JJC, in Lagos? I knew they were 419 people. So, I said to them “Wait, u look me finish, waffi babe like me, I resemble Johnny just come for dis Lagos wey we dey so?” They looked at me mouth agape, before they could say Eko! I opened the door on the left and jumped down the bus, thanks to the go-slow. I ran to the other side of the road, without care. Cars were blasting their horns at me. I boarded a commercial bike straight to my friend’s house.  This Lagos is a land of opportunities but as Daddy Showkey sung, “shine your eyes well well” This is Lagos!

Saturday, November 1, 2014

UNREQUITED LOVE



A mighty pain to love it is,
And ‘tis a pain that pain to miss,
But of all pains, the greatest pain
It is to love ,but love in vain
· Abraham Cowley

That verse said it all. Unrequited love can be and is one of the most painful experiences ever. It can be worse than a break up. Unrequited love according to the Merriam Webster online dictionary ‘love not reciprocated or returned in kind.’ If you ask me, it is half love, a one-way love. There are two forms or more of it. You love the person, you are great friends, platonic ones but you can’t tell them because you don’t want to ruin a friendship or worse they have someone and don’t see you in that light. You love someone, you see every day, they don’t know you exist but you know they do, maybe you work in the same place, are in the same school but you’ve never met them, you pass each other every day. Then the last, which I describe as the worst because I went through it, you are dating someone in some form of relationship, you love him or her and you think they do same. Then, one day you discover it was all in your head and everything was a lie.
This feeling has nothing to do with sex. They are very strong and genuine; it turns out to be an obsession. It is more painful when you think you had someone then realised you did not. It makes you feel like the world’s greatest fool when you realise you were in love alone. There are certain symptoms of unrequited love,
· Making a fool of yourself.
· You daydream about this person a whole lot.
· You create unrealistic hopes and desires.
· Said partner does not take you out, it is an indoors thing. You meet no member of family, close friends or importantly the mom after a certain period.
· You guys go on and off in the relationship thanks to her or him. One minute you are a couple, next, you are in the friend zone and on it goes because they know you love them. They lead you on.
· They take from you physically, emotionally but never give.
· They always make excuses when you ask them to spend time with you.
· You do the reaching out and practically the whole work. they call on you when they need something in disguise maybe moral support, cash, booty call etc.
· You always make excuses for their behaviour, every time.
· There are certain things the person keeps from you. They do not care to really know you or reveal more of themselves. You are not best friends.

You feel you cannot live without them. Nature is funny, when you love someone who does not love you back; it creates an immense longing for him or her, neediness most times taken advantage of by leading you on or use to kick you in the groin. You look at them and you see all the good, you believe they love you within but do not know how to show it. They are different from their exterior. You believe one day, they will wake up, change and realise that they love you, then see you there. When you find out you were led on, you feel used but you still hope and try to show them that you are the one they have always wanted and waited for. Wake up! You are not.
If your love was not returned, then it was never meant to be. Yes, you feel like your heart has broken into a billion shards that it feels like a heart attack. Rejection does that to people. Things happen for a very good reason. Let me tell you one thing and you should believe me, you do not want to spend the rest of your life with someone who doesn’t love you, doesn’t see you, takes you for granted, doesn’t want to really know you, someone who will not share him or herself with you. You do not want to keep being a slave to love, holding on that they will see you someday. No one wants scraps. Do you? You deserve someone that sees you, loves to share and spend time with you. You deserve someone who loves you as much as you love them. You wonder how you will live without them. You just have to have them, even if it means you love them alone. You wonder why they could not love you. Sometimes, they just cannot i.e. if you guys are just friends; it is painful if they make you think they do when they do not. You feel rejected, angry, lost, humiliated but you still love them, you think there is nothing you can do. If you ask me, you are in self-denial and soaking in self-pity, an illusion. You can do something because in the end you will discover it was just an infatuation. Love is not love, if not reciprocated. In my next post, I will share ways to get over an unrequited love. If you have ever been in one. Do share with us by leaving comments. (To be continued)