Kima was beautiful and brainy. The two
Bs she had them. She was twenty seven and wasn’t in a hurry to settle. She
hadn’t found the right man yet. She met Steve and after a while she met Ola.
She was in love with Steve but she couldn’t let go of Ola. Her friends, Chioma
and Rachael decided to help her out, so they called for a sleepover with
ice-cream and a movie. They asked her who she was in love with.
‘I’m in love with Steve, always will
be.’
Kima dug deep into the ice-cream bowl
and continued,
‘But I can’t lose Ola.’
‘Girl, you can’t keep the two. You have
to make a choice fast....’ Rachael spoke
up
‘Or you end up losing thee two of them.’
Chioma completed.
‘I know but it’s not that easy. I can’t
explain it.’
‘Kima, that’s why we are here. Try and
explain it to us and to yourself.’
Chioma soothed.
Kima took a deep breath and some
ice-cream and went on,
‘Ola is like my best friend. I can let
my hair down with him. We play a lot together. I can tell him anything and he
won’t judge me. He knows the right things to say and do. We are just in sync.
We have this connection. He makes me laugh, smile and makes me feel good about
myself.’
Rachael and Chioma looked at themselves
and back at Kima, they were speechless. Racheal found her voice,
‘And what does Steve do to you?’
‘I’m in love with Steve. He makes me
want to be a better me. It’s like we compete most times. I always feel like I
have to try so hard to match up to him because he’s perfect. He pushes me. He’s
the man I love. I can’t explain it, he’s like a challenge and he makes me feel all
giddy inside like a school girl.’
‘Wait, that’s ..that’s all...what... th’
Chioma sputtered
Rachael took Kima’s hand, ‘Babe, what’s
your definition of love?’
‘Wait, before you answer that, let me
remind you that these two guys are both successful in their fields. They are
ok, wealthy.’
‘C’mon Chioma, I knew that already. They
are my friends. Well, love is a feeling you can’t describe. You get butterflies
in your belly thinking about the person. He makes you feel indescribable. You
just want to do your best to please them and make them happy. That’s it and
Steve makes me feel that way.’
Chioma stood up and looked at her like
she was mad.
‘What about you? And if you were so in
love with Steve, why did you add Ola to your list and your bed? Think about it.
Shouldn’t you settle with your best friend, some one that makes you happy,
smile? Kima, think about this very well. If you ask me Ola is it.’
‘Chioma, let her be. She’s the one in
the relationships. It’s her choice to make.’
‘Oh Rachael stop it. I know you agree
with me. You are thinking exactly what I’m thinking. She’s our friend and she
needs to hear the truth. Kima, love shouldn’t make you compete. Love is not
hard, it shouldn’t be. Love shouldn’t make you feel like you are not good
enough or you have to work harder to please. Why do you think I got married to
Edwin? He’s my Ola.’
‘Ermm, Chioma I can say I understand
what you mean but I don’t. What I have with Steve has always been my dream. It
is what I understand love to be and I’ve been looking for it. He also fits the
image of my dream man. He’s a great guy, you’ll see.’
‘That means you’ll drop Ola. What’s
wrong with him? Is it because he doesn’t give you butterflies?’
‘Chioma stop!’
‘Rachael if you won’t talk then let me.
Kima, please answer.’
‘I don’t know, Chi . I just know I feel
lightheaded with Steve.’
‘Ok! How’s the sex on both sides?’
‘Jesus, chioma!’
‘We are not kids here. She’s obviously
sleeping with them both.’
‘People, I’m in the room you know.’
‘Yes we do. How’s the sex?’
‘I haven’t thought about that but now
you asked, Ola gives me orgasms, Steve not so much but he’s good in bed.’
‘Yet he doesn’t take his time to wait
for your climax.’
‘Christ, Chioma, what’s gotten into
you?’
‘I’m saving our dear friend from a
divorce and a very unhappy marriage. I’m done playing bad cop, you take over.’
The girls burst into laughter.
‘Chioma, thank you for trying to help me
but Steve loves me too. Besides, he fits my notions on love.’
‘I wish I could find a guy like Ola.’
Rachael whispered to herself.
The girls continued with their movie,
each filled with their thoughts on the matter called love.
If you read that piece above, don’t go
into the usual ‘women are confused story.’ That is not my intent. My intent is
to show you everyone has different notions on love. I have heard and seen men
with the most ridiculous dreams on what their perfect spouse should be like.
Ladies do same too. We often leave the people that are our 80 and choose our 20
because we know no better on love.
You see guys that leave getting married
to their best friends and then when they have issues in their marriage, they
run to their best friends and complain. They can’t tell their wives certain
things but they can tell this female friend. Lots of ladies do the same too.
You just end up cheating on your spouse emotionally because you have someone
else and not them as your best friend.
All I’m saying is check your notions on
love. You might have the perfect person in front of you, hanging on as a best
friend that you tell all to but you don’t see them because you have some wrong
notion of how love should be. Every relationship, even marriage is a
partnership, that’s why it works with your friend. If you can’t talk to the
person that should be your ‘better half’, the person that should be your
partner against the travails and ill winds in the world, then why in hell’s
name did you marry that person?
So I ask; what are your notions on love?