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Friday, June 5, 2015

Frances Okeke: SHE STOLE MY MAN

Frances Okeke: SHE STOLE MY MAN: She stole my man could also be, he stole my woman or she stole my woman, lol.   You’re in a relationship, marriage or you feel there’s s...

SHE STOLE MY MAN

She stole my man could also be, he stole my woman or she stole my woman, lol.
  You’re in a relationship, marriage or you feel there’s some connection between you two. You’re happy everything is going really well then suddenly there’s a change in your partner’s behaviour; he doesn’t call as he used to, he’s always too busy to see you or something else. In some other cases, there’s no change in behaviour and then WHAM! It feels like you got a heavy knock on the head. You make a discovery via a chat on his phone, a note you find, you see them together or someone tells you about it and then the bubble in which you live in gets burst by a tiny needle: THERE IS SOMEONE ELSE. 
You’re not the only sugar in his or her tea. You go through a range of emotions in your head but the easiest most people cling to, that the other person is an evil ten headed monster who walked in and ruined the beautiful life they had. Well, it’s only human to go into self denial and refuse to face the truth.
  We’ve all heard of some cases, maybe you were even the perpetrator. You tried with every blood in your being to find the demon girl that tried to take your joy away from you. Some become stalkers, some threaten the other party, some even go as far as having them beat up, pour acid on them, kill them, and others degrade themselves and their self respect by confronting this third party and having a wrestlemania showdown.
  I won’t lie, finding out that there’s a third or fourth party in your relationship especially when you’re married or have given your all to it can be heartbreaking.
The real question is who is to be blamed between your man and the lady in question?
  Yes, you might say your man was minding his business and this lady wormed her way up to him. She came with an agenda and confused him with she needed help, had too many problems in her life, turned him into a confidante and sprayed her magic dust on him.
You could also consider the other aspect, which is the truth in most cases; your man went after her.
  Ok, let’s say you’re right and she’s the devil that came after him; did he have to fall? This is a grown ass adult and not a child that has no self control and knows not wrong from right.
You can also sing it was a moment of weakness. A moment of weakness doesn’t last more than once.
  What should you do if you find yourself in this kind of situation you ask? One thing I know is taking war to the other person’s doorstep isn’t the solution. The doer is the person you know, your partner.
You could address the issue and let on that you know about the other party.
One of three things will happen;
1)      He might put up an ‘I don’t care’ attitude. Yes, you found out and so? Might even shamelessly ask you ‘Hope you didn’t tell her anything bad about me’ or ‘Hope you didn’t hurt her or somn more shattering.
2)      He begs and asks forgiveness.
3)      He tells you, his stepping out on you was your entire fault.
Well in situation number two; he might mean it or he’s just begging because he got caught.
   There’s an entirely different approach; you act a fool and don’t tell him you know , then you try and figure out what you’ve been doing wrong lately or what the other lady is doing right that you’re not.
  I’m not asking you disrespect yourself to hold on to anyone because the truth is that some people, no matter what you do and bend to please them will always be who they are. They didn’t add another sugar to their tea because you were doing something wrong or there’s something wrong with you. They’re who they are, Cheats!
I’ve seen girls that tell a guy they know he’s cheating and he tells them it’s their fault and they agree, they hold on and try everything possible to please him and end up losing their self respect.
  I think, as all these are my thoughts and not some rules written in stone, if you discover your partner is cheating, it’s time to evaluate, pick which works for you:
1)      I’ve heard of a case where the man knew she knew but she acted like nothing was going on, she didn’t follow the usual shouting and crying. She went about her usual activities all chirpy and loving. Fear catch the man sotey e buckle up.
2)      You tell them you know about it because life’s too short to pretend and die in silence. I’m not asking you go screaming and shouting and losing your cool. You find out from his responses which of the mentioned categories he falls into. Is he remorseful about it?
   The truth is, if someone really loves and is into you, when they make a mistake and add on a third party, they won’t wait to get caught before owning up out of guilt. If they do get caught they’d do everything within their power not to lose you. They’d try and make things right.
  Another truth according to me is you can’t lose what was never yours. It’s that simple. No one can steal a man or woman if they don’t want to be stolen. We’re creatures of freewill, we do what we want. No one holds a gun to our heads and asks us to kiss, have sex or become emotionally attached to anyone.
Please take out that bull rap men have been using as their excuse to deceive women for generations that it’s in their nature and they can’t help themselves. We all process things in our minds, be it a second before we act it out.
  So sweethearts, if someone wants to belong to someone else, it will hurt like hell but accept the truth that no one stole them and decide if you still want in that is if they’re willing or if self pride and respect is more important to you.
   Let that man or woman go especially if you know you’ve done all you can and loved them and tried to make things work and be there for them. Stop holding on to what God’s trying to take from you; let go of the years, memories, pain and commitments. You deserve someone that wants just you, you deserve someone that won’t let themselves be stolen, lol.
  No one can steal a human being; they’re not non-living things abi objects.  We all make our choices.

What are your thoughts? 

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