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Friday, July 25, 2014


  In the old days a man was as good as his word. People would say of him ‘he’s a man of honour.’, if a man gives his word and keeps it. A man’s word was enough. People who didn’t keep their words were seen as scoundrels, liars, not trust worthy, men went as far as duels and wars for such.
   Today? Words are meaningless. People just spout them to get what they want from you and move on. It’s that simple. We say words we don’t plan on keeping and see nothing in it when we break them. It’s really sad. Integrity is gone.
   Let’s start with the biggest and most used word in the world today, ‘I love you.’ It used to hold so much power to it. Now, we hear it and don’t even believe it. That’s what gross misuse causes. There’s nothing wrong in really meaning something before you say it. If your partner tells you they love you and you know you’re not there yet, then please don’t say it. A whole lot of us believe that it is what people in a relationship or in a marriage are supposed to say, so we say it in all our relationships, even though deep down in our heart we know we don’t and then a month later the relationship ends, we close the door firmly to that person we supposedly love or do things to cause the end of the relationship. The real power to those words is to know the real meaning of the words in the sentence. If you understand that there is power in the tongue and that your word should be your bond, you’d weigh it a lot before you open up.
   ‘She’s my friend.’ ‘You’re my friend’. The word ‘friend’ is another. It is meaningless. You meet someone today and you sing he’s my friend when you don’t even know twat about the person. That you laugh and smile with someone doesn’t make them a friend, they are your acquaintance. Acquaintance has dropped off people’s tongues. If you’re like me you get sceptical when people sing ‘I’m your friend.’ If the person you call a friend is down in the gutter, you don’t know nor really care. Well, blame it all on social media for helping us change the meaning of the word. That we work in the same office and share jokes does that make one a friend? That word is gone. If you call someone your friend then maybe you should act like you and not kill them from behind and be the one to slander their names and character to others, that isn’t friendship. Not everyone that calls themselves your friend is as most of us find out later.
   Today, we take people’s word with a pinch of salt, even contracts are not binding as such, and people still break them. Most people are used to taking words uttered to them as dust while some others lose it when people say yes now and turn around to say no later. It pisses the hell out of them and they go as far as cutting off ties with such people. Sincerely, every time they have ever lost their cool if they sit sown now to think about it is when people they supposedly held to their word as they tried hard to keep theirs, didn’t. It irks them; they try hard to comprehend why people don’t mean what they say. It’s just a way of life today. Go see couples at the altar then follow the spouse that breaks their word. It’s the world of today.
   If we expect God, Allah, the universe whatever form you choose to keep their word in their Holy Book why can’t you man, made in God’s image keep yours to another man. I see it as a thing of respect really. God respects us as little as we are. We don’t keep our words to people we don’t respect; we take them for granted and have no regard for them. It’s that simple really.
   If we don’t know right from wrong and break another man’s trust because we never counted their trust as anything in the first place is the reason why we break our words. We say what we think people need to hear to get what we need from them, if we don’t hold ourselves in high principles and standards enough to make our yes our yes, why should you expect your leaders to keep to theirs. It’s a circle, a chain reaction if you can call it that. If we can’t keep the words we say to our children, we lose their respect and trust slowly without knowing it.
   Even the Bible and other Holy books tell us there is power in the tongue. Words come out of that tongue. A life of friendship can be broken easily when trusted word is broken, very easily
   We need to, all of us; we need to work on it. No one has a gun to your head; if you don’t mean it then don’t say it. Get some principle and discipline today. Teach it to your children, your friends, neighbours, help this country and the world get back on the right track. If I can’t keep a word I say today and I get into power tomorrow, what do you think I’d do? Elections are near, you be the judge.
   People might call you stupid and laugh at you for always striving to say what you mean but do it anyway. In the silence of their hearts, you’d earn their respect for it but don’t do it for them but for you. If you decide to
   I could go on and on but in a few words this whole article is ‘Everything you say is more than words. Say only what you mean and can keep.’

Friday, July 11, 2014


 I remember one of my favourite stories of all time ‘PANDORA’S BOX’. If you are a lover of Greek and Roman Mythology you must have heard of it. Pandora’s curiosity got the better of her and she just had to open that box and out into the world came; misery, famine, hunger, hate, sadness and everything evil  known to man was released. Looking into the box, thinking it empty but alas, one was left. One had refused to escape. It was hope.
  In everything there is always hope. Hope for a better life is what wakes you up in the morning. Hope to put forward your best to leave your mark in the world. Hope that you’d find love someday pushes you into relationships with arms wide open no matter how many times your heart gets stomped on the floor. Hope that they’d spend forever with you makes you stand at that altar and say ‘I do’.  Hope for good education, takes you to the university. Hope, that there’d be electricity makes you pay the electricity bills even though your light bulb never blinked last month.
  Hope, there is nothing as powerful as hope. Hope lifts the human spirit. Hope is the reason we all still live in this country. Hope that the missing Chibok girls would be found. Hope that Nigeria can get better. 

  Hope no matter how bleak is hope. It can be a bright burning furnace, it can be a dim matchstick light, and it is hope. Without hope, all is lost. Hope to me is what the religious sects tag as faith.
  They say without faith you have nothing, so I tell you; without Hope you are lost.
  I don’t know if you’ve ever come across the lifeless body of one who has committed suicide? That is a person who had no ray of hope.
  Please keep hope alive. No matter how bleak your future looks right now. You might look around you and you see poverty . You’ve been searching for love but you’ve been thrown to the wolves every time. You’ve been hoping for a better country but the state of your country leaves tears and disbelief in your eyes. Don’t give up. Never ever give up.
  When everything looks bleak and beyond your control, you still have control. That control is hope. Hope will never leave you. Hope has the ability to manifest from your thoughts. Imagine if every citizen stopped complaining and calling the situation hopeless but held on to believe in the future, hope. Hope, I can’t explain it is like a spirit. It brings the right things to help you manifest it your way.
  During the slave trade, the slaves hoped that someday they would be free.  They held on to it tightly. With time, freedom arrived, their hope became real. Then the generations after them hoped for equal rights, to be free and seen as human. With time, segregation was gone and blacks and whites became equal. That hope gave birth to the future which is today, that undying hope has put a black man in the White house. I’m not a preacher but that’s the power of hope.

  People can say what they will about you, about your works, and about your circumstances but only you can change it. Do you believe the picture they have painted? Or do you hold on the hope in your heart that things will change, that where you are now isn’t the you of tomorrow?
  The power lies in you. That power is how big your hope for change is. Forget what you say to others. When you sit down and listen to yourself in the silence of your heart. Do you really have hope?
  I beg you, no matter where and what you find yourself in, there’s always hope. Suicide isn’t the way out. Only you can change that situation if you believe it can change. Your mind and hope becomes you. No one, absolutely no one can take that away from you.
  Keep the hope in you alive; keep the hope in Nigeria alive.
  Don’t lose hope. Cheers to the future you and your future situation. 

Friday, July 4, 2014


  Right from when he was a kid, Yemi knew he wanted to dance. Dance was his life. There was no dance move he couldn’t do. He told his parents as a kid, they laughed that he was just a kid. When he was filling his JAMB form, he wanted Theatre Arts but his father reminded him that He was a Doctor and his father was one too. James filled in for medicine. He became a doctor, a good one at that but there was something missing. Dance was gone, so the light from his eyes were gone.
  All Daniel could see was colours. He could create something out of nothing. He had the touch. Best in art class. He could see shapes and sizes that others couldn’t see. He got into school and studied Arts rue to his calling. After school he decided to continue with his dream but life hit him really hard. He was the first son and his father was no more. He needed to survive. He got a job in a bank. That was the end of the colours. All he cared about was survival, Instant money. (Daniel didn’t know it but he was meant to be the next Picasso if only he had stuck to it.) But can you blame him?
  Rita’s only passion was people. She loved to touch and impact lives. She actually dreamt of getting into Politics and helping people in a stronger way. That dream was torn up the day she got married. Her husband sang no wife of his would be a politician. She bore him kids and became a stay at home mum. Well, in Africa, a wife is under the husband. He’s the head of the house and she’s to obey him. (Rita’s destiny was to become the first female president of her country). You don’t see that happening anymore do you?
  God decides to give the country another female president in little Kemi but her mum, father, teachers and society kept harping into her that she was a girl and couldn’t be like an African man was. She is a second class citizen. Women don’t do politics, bla bla bla. Little Kemi, cancelled her presidential dreams and became a baker, a more ladylike role when she grew up. Oh, did I forget, she bleached too.
  Ifeoma could become anyone. She wore characters easily. She could pour the emotions and be you. She got married and had to travel with her husband. The mere thought of other men lusting after his wife drove him into a rage. He opened a small boutique for her and that was it. She could have been the greatest act from her country to the world.
  In the journey of life, the major goal of every human is to know why they were created, their purpose in life. That one thing that Mother Nature, God, the Universe (choose any) has planted in them to make them distinct from every other being on earth. Some sojourn for years just to find out what that purpose is; others just know it. Don’t you just wish sometimes that God would come to you and tell you straight up?
‘Nonso, I brought you into the world to be a writer and not a bank worker?’
  Sadly, that’s where our freewill and choice comes in. We end up becoming the deciders. After wrong turns and broken dreams, we end up at the right place or not. Some people don’t even bother. They are content with just the simple life. Being safe and not aiming high.
  Certain factors make most people lose their talents. Remember the story in the Bible about how a master gave his servants various talents, Majority never used theirs, one even went ahead to bury his. It was just one servant that worked on his and multiplied it? Ok, whatever! You get the story I’m talking about. (Go pick up your Bible and search for it.) A lot of people in the world are like those servants that never used their talents.
Can you really blame people for hiding their talents or burying it alive?
  Our choices and decisions either bring us closer to that purpose or drive us further apart. The person you let control your emotions and become a partner (oops! Lord and master for females) is a great factor too. Every word you utter, every thought you think about. You are the master of your fate. When you find your talent, you will know.
  Are you using the talent given to you? If you were to die now and your spirit is called up before God, Allah, the Universe, Mother Nature etc (knock yourself out.) What would you say when asked if you fulfilled your purpose here on earth?
  I just woke up with the thought that any free gift can easily be taken or altered if not used.
  Maybe you’re like me and trying all your passions and wondering, pushing on, on a journey of self discovery, to find out your life’s purpose. Well, at least you’re doing something I guess.  Wouldn’t it be just grand if God could point it out?
‘Hi Frances, you’re a musician and not a writer, actress, etccccc.’
And I’d be like,
 ‘No way! But a cockroach sings better than I do. Ok singing lessons, here I come.’
Is your talent lost? But first, ‘What is your talent?’

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