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Wednesday, February 26, 2014

THE ANGER ISSUE Vol II



                                       
Anger they say is a bad emotion. It just isn’t necessary. In a society where everyone feigns a smile instead of getting angry in what has been termed as being cultured. Anger, especially outbursts are frowned upon. They say you hold it in and smile. Pour your anger into an activity. The question in my mind now remains; if this person pissed me off the first time and I smiled and looked the other way, what’s going to stop them from doing it again? 
  People hardly know when they do things. They are not even in your head to know they displeased you. Speaking up is the answer. Ok, now it depends on how you speak up. That’s where good anger comes in. Learning to pick your words when in a state of heightened emotions, I think is a skill you master with time by just saying exactly how they hurt you and nothing more.
  Sadly, we don’t take people serious until they spell it out in anger and when they do it in that state, we still judge them for it.
  Anger can be very dangerous too. Remember Shakespeare’s ‘Othello’? Yes, it can be. I think it gets very bad when you let it stew. It’s like, you put a kettle on fire and it’s still warm ,you pour it on a person, no harm done but if you wait for the water to really boil and you pour it on a person, you could kill them, one thing is sure that they will be hurt. If I piss you off today, for the first time, say it now when it’s just starting and you don’t feel much rancor and bile within. If you wait for me to piss you off on numerous occasions and you say nothing, the day you finally decide to speak; to you the cup is filled up but to me I never knew there was a cup. You could stab or shoot me on that day because you’d let your anger stew for a long while. I hope I explained that right.  Ok, check yourself; you might have had a friend or partner that went at you like a loose cannon and brought up incidents you never knew were an issue. It wasn’t that day’s crime that was THE crime. That’s what I’m talking about. If they had said it on that first day, you guys would never had gotten to this day. It’s like jealousy or suspicion; you leave it and you can’t control it anymore. It’s in cases like this that one stabs his wife blindly, shoots his son, kills her husband, kills her mother or her boyfriend because that little seed of anger has grown into full blown rage and resentment. That’s when and what makes anger terrible.
If you are angry with yourself and not another person, try and figure out why you feel that anger; you might need to make a change in your life before it will stop. The key is to figure out why and the best key is always forgiveness. Learn to forgive yourself and forgive people
  You can only control anger when it is little before it grows up, that is the right time to say something if you have and need to. So, organise what you want to say in your head first, once spoken it can’t be retracted. Just limit your speech to how you felt and not throwing barbs at them.
                                             
  I’m not saying go on an anger quest. If you talk back at your boss or tell him he did something you didn’t like, you’d be joining the unemployment market tomorrow sadly. So, only speak your mind to people you can. Your boss really doesn’t care if you like it or not. He’d do whatever he wants. Unless you’re ready to quit because he’s not your friend nor is he your family.
  Anger is you speaking up and saying your mind. How can that be bad? Let’s be sincere now; how many people say their minds today? It has become an epidemic. A world filled with lies and fake people. Swallowing what you feel because you want to be liked and accepted but behind them you tear them apart and say trash about them. They had no idea they did such to you. Honesty is the watchword to anger. Even the so called religious zealots smile at you when you piss them off, then tell you they were taught to turn the other cheek. Sadly, they don’t forgive you nor do they forget, they just go behind you or kill you in their minds. That’s just stupid, hide it from man but keep it in your thoughts where the God you believe in can see it.
  The basic rule in avoiding bad anger that is injurious to yourself is; if you can overlook it and not be bothered if it’s done another day then let it go i.e. if it’s not worth it but if you know that, if you keep quiet, the matter would be in your mind, with you replaying the event and thinking of a thousand ways to kill this person, just turn around and tell them you don’t like it. Believe me life is too short for you to waste your time brooding and carrying a grudge around. You’d only hurt yourself. After you say your mind; if they apologize, great; if they don’t, great. Don’t expect an apology. The goal here was to take it off your mind and set yourself free.
  You only get ill from anger when you keep it in. Don’t think you’d be liked for speaking your mind especially if you had let your anger boil into a rage. People actually prefer people they smile and pretend with all the time. Saying you didn’t like something that they did or said could make them avoid you and take you off their list but if you can sleep better at night, who cares? Real people appreciate being told when they are wrong and would hate to know they hurt someone else’s feelings. They’d even like you for it but also remember no one, absolutely no human being likes to be chastised ,which is what speaking out will be seen as. Ok, I just confused you. Lol!
  If you know you can’t speak out without adding extra pepper and salt to hurt the person then you shouldn’t speak. The goal isn’t to hurt the other person. Learn to stick to the basis i.e. the matter at hand. Being angry isn’t an excuse to do that. You should let yourself simmer down in that case.
  Don’t let others control how you feel or ruin your day; either forget it or let it out and then forget it.
Ok, I’m going on and on, repeating myself. Time to stop.
 Remember, it is ok to be angry but don’t hurt others or hurt yourself. Forgive yourself and forgive them.
  I’ve looked at this anger emotion and a couple of other human emotions that are termed bad and weak; I’ve realised one truth. They all and even the good emotions are caused by one thing. Read up on my next post, next week and find out who this culprit is. Knowing it can help you and I control our emotions. Cheers!    
                                     

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