Search This Blog

Translate

Monday, September 23, 2013

CHANGING TODAY


You may be looking at your present situation in despair. There’s no money in your wallet, not enough money, no lover to share your life with, no job, no car, no house, no child, whatever it is, you feel like this is it. You feel like your life has reached its summit. You may think about ending your life, after all there’s nothing to live for. You cry scream and depression holds you down.
  When you look around you, all you see is where you are now and it’s not where you want to be. You feel helpless and lost. You feel like you have no control over your life. It eats you up. You feel like you are in a hole and you can’t find your way back up.
  Here’s what you should remember; yesterday it wasn’t raining but it is today, ten years or more ago, you were in secondary school but now you are not. What does that tell you? It shows that this phase too will pass/ things will change. You have to believe that and smile in contentment with what you have. Deal with the now and present. If you want a change in your tomorrow and you want it to be different from your today, it’s all up to you. Avail yourself of the little opportunities that come your way and seem like nothing. You have to decide to change your tomorrow and make a change, swallow your fears, depression and self doubt and move. If you take no step today, you will always remain where you are today, tomorrow.
  Take out a pen, paper and five minutes alone and ask yourself some questions;
1. Who are you?
2. Do you have a reason to be thankful in your life?
3. Do you have a problem or situation you don’t like?
4. What is the problem or situation?
5. Where do you want to be?
6. What are the possible solutions to take you to where you want to be?
7. Which of these solutions should be short term or long term?
8. How do you carry out this solution or solutions?

  When you are done with the above, read through your list and smile. Smile because you’ve taken the first step in changing your present situation. Where you are today, you will not be in tomorrow but it all depends on you and no one else. It’s your choice and decision to make and the time starts now. Cheers!


Thursday, September 19, 2013

LOVE AND OUR NOTIONS


Kima was beautiful and brainy. The two Bs she had them. She was twenty seven and wasn’t in a hurry to settle. She hadn’t found the right man yet. She met Steve and after a while she met Ola. She was in love with Steve but she couldn’t let go of Ola. Her friends, Chioma and Rachael decided to help her out, so they called for a sleepover with ice-cream and a movie. They asked her who she was in love with.
‘I’m in love with Steve, always will be.’
Kima dug deep into the ice-cream bowl and continued,
‘But I can’t lose Ola.’
‘Girl, you can’t keep the two. You have to make a choice fast....’  Rachael spoke up
‘Or you end up losing thee two of them.’ Chioma completed.
‘I know but it’s not that easy. I can’t explain it.’
‘Kima, that’s why we are here. Try and explain it to us and to yourself.’  Chioma soothed.
Kima took a deep breath and some ice-cream and went on,
‘Ola is like my best friend. I can let my hair down with him. We play a lot together. I can tell him anything and he won’t judge me. He knows the right things to say and do. We are just in sync. We have this connection. He makes me laugh, smile and makes me feel good about myself.’
Rachael and Chioma looked at themselves and back at Kima, they were speechless. Racheal found her voice,
‘And what does Steve do to you?’
‘I’m in love with Steve. He makes me want to be a better me. It’s like we compete most times. I always feel like I have to try so hard to match up to him because he’s perfect. He pushes me. He’s the man I love. I can’t explain it, he’s like a challenge and he makes me feel all giddy inside like a school girl.’
‘Wait, that’s ..that’s all...what... th’ Chioma sputtered
Rachael took Kima’s hand, ‘Babe, what’s your definition of love?’
‘Wait, before you answer that, let me remind you that these two guys are both successful in their fields. They are ok, wealthy.’
‘C’mon Chioma, I knew that already. They are my friends. Well, love is a feeling you can’t describe. You get butterflies in your belly thinking about the person. He makes you feel indescribable. You just want to do your best to please them and make them happy. That’s it and Steve makes me feel that way.’
Chioma stood up and looked at her like she was mad.
‘What about you? And if you were so in love with Steve, why did you add Ola to your list and your bed? Think about it. Shouldn’t you settle with your best friend, some one that makes you happy, smile? Kima, think about this very well. If you ask me Ola is it.’
‘Chioma, let her be. She’s the one in the relationships. It’s her choice to make.’
‘Oh Rachael stop it. I know you agree with me. You are thinking exactly what I’m thinking. She’s our friend and she needs to hear the truth. Kima, love shouldn’t make you compete. Love is not hard, it shouldn’t be. Love shouldn’t make you feel like you are not good enough or you have to work harder to please. Why do you think I got married to Edwin? He’s my Ola.’
‘Ermm, Chioma I can say I understand what you mean but I don’t. What I have with Steve has always been my dream. It is what I understand love to be and I’ve been looking for it. He also fits the image of my dream man. He’s a great guy, you’ll see.’
‘That means you’ll drop Ola. What’s wrong with him? Is it because he doesn’t give you butterflies?’
‘Chioma stop!’
‘Rachael if you won’t talk then let me. Kima, please answer.’
‘I don’t know, Chi . I just know I feel lightheaded with Steve.’
‘Ok! How’s the sex on both sides?’
‘Jesus, chioma!’
‘We are not kids here. She’s obviously sleeping with them both.’
‘People, I’m in the room you know.’
‘Yes we do. How’s the sex?’
‘I haven’t thought about that but now you asked, Ola gives me orgasms, Steve not so much but he’s good in bed.’
‘Yet he doesn’t take his time to wait for your climax.’
‘Christ, Chioma, what’s gotten into you?’
‘I’m saving our dear friend from a divorce and a very unhappy marriage. I’m done playing bad cop, you take over.’
The girls burst into laughter.
‘Chioma, thank you for trying to help me but Steve loves me too. Besides, he fits my notions on love.’
‘I wish I could find a guy like Ola.’ Rachael whispered to herself.
The girls continued with their movie, each filled with their thoughts on the matter called love.

  If you read that piece above, don’t go into the usual ‘women are confused story.’ That is not my intent. My intent is to show you everyone has different notions on love. I have heard and seen men with the most ridiculous dreams on what their perfect spouse should be like. Ladies do same too. We often leave the people that are our 80 and choose our 20 because we know no better on love.
  You see guys that leave getting married to their best friends and then when they have issues in their marriage, they run to their best friends and complain. They can’t tell their wives certain things but they can tell this female friend. Lots of ladies do the same too. You just end up cheating on your spouse emotionally because you have someone else and not them as your best friend.
  All I’m saying is check your notions on love. You might have the perfect person in front of you, hanging on as a best friend that you tell all to but you don’t see them because you have some wrong notion of how love should be. Every relationship, even marriage is a partnership, that’s why it works with your friend. If you can’t talk to the person that should be your ‘better half’, the person that should be your partner against the travails and ill winds in the world, then why in hell’s name did you marry that person?
  So I ask; what are your notions on love?


Thursday, September 12, 2013

FEEDING THE GREEN EYED MONSTER


  It’s amazing when you pause to study human nature. Remember the story in the bible of the rich man with plenty lambs and the poor man who had one ewe that he loved and treated as his child. A guest came to visit this man with a flock but he didn’t kill his, he took the poor man’s only lamb and killed it. Don’t you just wonder about it sometimes? It wasn’t just greed that prompted that rich man to take the poor man’s only lamb, it wasn’t power, and it was a human emotion called envy.
But then you ask how can a man with plenty envy a man who has just one? Well, let me start with a story maybe you’d understand.
 In the neighbourhood everyone knew Wale, he was doing ok. He had money and more to spare. He had a duplex to himself and an expensive car. He was successful in his field and got lots of jobs. Other dudes in the neighbourhood placed him highly. He bought drinks and stuff for them. His house was always a meeting place. None of the other guys really had jobs or a car like he did.
  Femi was one of such guys. He always followed his friends to Wale’s. Femi had dreams but he had no money and no job. He was still squatting at a friend’s place. He was hustling hard but nothing was working.
  Wale knew Femi was squatting at a friend’s and had nothing.
  Femi was good at sculpting but being fresh out of school, he had no money for materials and other needed things. One day, he heard about an international sculpting competition that involved prize money. Femi borrowed money and got materials and did his best work. He won and got the money and the recognition. All the guys in the neighbourhood were happy for Femi. They spread the news round, wale heard about it.  Femi’s life changed a bit. Jobs came his way and he was able to move to move to a one room apartment where he worked from and got a small used car to help him convey his materials and other finished products.
Femi’s friends were going to Wale’s place and he went along. Wale asked him about the award and how business was going, Femi excited regaled to him the experience and how it felt travelling to England where the award was given to him as he beat works from all over the world. Wale went into a daze, someone had to call his name and when asked what was wrong, he said nothing. Femi continued with the experience. The other dudes present hailed him and made him buy them drinks to celebrate his win. Femi bought everyone drinks including Wale.
One day, all the dudes met, Wale asked a question and Femi answered. Wale went into a tirade.
‘You don’t know how to talk. Who do you think you are exactly? We are not age mates so mind how you talk to me. We are not even in the same class. Is it because I’m still living in this neighbourhood with you? I was meant to move to Lekki but I decided to stay here. Let me tell you, you are not in my class and you will never be in my class.’ Femi kept apologizing even though he couldn’t understand what was wrong in what he said to have elicited such a reaction. Wale stormed out. The other guys gave different excuses for no one could understand the outburst.
Femi and Wale had never had issues personally. Wale still had more money and property fifty times over than Femi had. Femi never tried to match up to Wale, so what caused this outburst of Wale’s?
Wale had seen Femi in his lowest. He was the guy that had nothing that he dashed money to once in a while. He never saw Femi as a competition. He never believed Femi would rise. They talk together and he never saw Femi’s words as insulting or he trying to compete with him but behold that dude he gave money to was popular all of a sudden, doing something he wasn’t doing. He had won an international award and was invited to England for the ceremony. He was good at something, he was getting jobs, he now lived alone even though it was a one room apartment and he had a car even though tis a cheap used car. To top it all, he could buy drinks for everyone. Wale didn’t mean to but he took more notice of Femi and something grew a huge dislike. He started weighing Femi’s words, checking their meanings, he felt Femi was trying to match up to him, displace him. He might not have known he was doing this but Femi turned from being that insignificant dude to someone who had something and would try to rub it in his face, so he had to remind him of his past and put him in his place, even though that past was fast changing. There was absolutely no need to be envious but Wale couldn’t help himself.
   You have seen it happen around you to other people or maybe you but you never took note. The real thing is there is enough space for everyone to succeed. That you know someone down today doesn’t mean they’d stay there forever. We all have different paths and as they say: ‘If God is blessing your neighbour, it means He is in the neighbourhood’. So wish the person well. Don’t try telling people you are better than them or they’d never be in your class. Of course they can’t be in your class because your class is yours. They will be in their class not even thinking about you. So, be careful of that green eyed monster when he comes around you. There’s space for, you, me and everyone else to make it in this life and we all need each other to grow. Do you think Femi will ever forget what Wale told him? What if tomorrow, Wale needs Femi’s help for something? We just use some stupid notion of age and class to drag ourselves down. How old were the technology billionaires in the world when they made it from nothing? Age is nothing but a number and class is manmade and in your head, all subject to change.
  Don’t feed the green eyed monster. He is worthless and doesn’t deserve to be fed.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

MY BIG BROTHER THEORY


 The lab used to be one of the biggest psychology labs in the UK but funding was not as it used to be. The board of trustees and other sponsors were tired of the results. Professor Nathan had been a behavioural scientist all his life, studying human nature like the famous psychologists before him and contributing to his field was his life’s mission. Now , the last three tests hadn't worked and he had spent  the funds for the research in paying over one thousand people they had kept in  a controlled  area for a week in the past three months but the tests hadn't worked. He’d brought in UK citizens of different descents ; Africans, Hispanics, whites, Arabs and so on but it just didn't work. The board was on his neck for a result. He thought as he looked at his mice. They were easier and gave more results. He prayed for a miracle, a fast one.
  Jack Barnes was excited to start work at the lab. He’d been watching lots of movies and cartoons that had labs. He was sure it was going to be an exciting experience. Maybe there’d be spies , chemical weapons or something wow but his dreams were dashed when he started. It was plain boring being a lab assistant. He looked at the mice as he stood behind Professor Nathan. He squelched the yawn that threatened to come out. When he looked at the lab , his imagination went wild. He saw Pinky and the Brain and a laugh escaped.
  Hours later he was registering the fifty people that were going to go in next for the tests and as he watched them one by one, he laughed some more. His imagination went wild, imagining if his friends and family could watch them as they related in that house alone. Wait, the lab was in bankruptcy what if they could make money from this?  To let the whole of Britain and other parts of the world watch these different characters in a one place for days while they watch too and continue their research. He pitched the idea to Professor Nathan and he laughed at him. He told him it wasn't professional, behavioural scientists don’t do that. The idea wouldn't leave Jack’s head. One day he ran into Mr Greene, he was a member of the board. He told him about this idea of his. Mr Greene saw money signs in it. He told him not to mention it to anybody else.
  The next week at a board meeting, Mr Greene mentions it to other members of the board and they asked him to spearhead the project. They wanted their money back and making more money they were all in for. It was time to research.
  Edward Hughes was in charge of the Alpha media and the last show they had hadn't made much. Darn British and the sci-fi movies craze. He needed something new. He was delighted when his old buddy, Greene called him. He went to meet the board and the idea was pitched to him. Reality TV! Who had ever taught about that? He knew it was going to be the biggest show of his life. He said yes and the lawyers came in and contracts were signed. Jack Barnes was excited, his idea was about to happen. Mr Greene asked him what he would like to name the show and he said ‘BIG BROTHER’. The auditions were held and the contestants went in.it was the biggest thing on TV. Britain ,loved it. People were voting. The board was happy, so were Professor Nathan, Jack, Mr Greene and Edward. This was history in the making. This was it. The people in the house were given activities and they in the lab got to study their behaviours, interactions and draw their conclusions on human patterns.
  Professor Nathan wanted a different descent so they moved to other countries and continents. They even tried celebrities from different parts of the world in their continents. There was always a careful selection of characters each time, put in the morally conscious and the wild ones together, throw in a married person and all sorts. Put in characters with stories and watch people’s reactions to them. Professor Nathan couldn't believe the results he was getting each time. The deal was the general public never knew it was a test and the people in the houses were just lab rats that go in and do nothing and whoever stays longest with more votes wins a chunk of money for doing absolutely nothing and goes home famous. They studied the reactions of people outside to the doings of the people in the house by their site, visiting the blogs and the papers. They also studied people’s reactions to whoever won and finally the concept of celebrity. Why the winners were considered celebrities by those on the outside? They made over a million of the chunk they gave out to winners world over. It was like a cock fight. Place two cocks in a ring , bring people to watch via the TV screens and other platforms and make money via their bets on either cock but at the same time watch people’s reactions to their favourite cock.
   In Africa and other parts of the world with cultures on conservative dressing and sense of decorum,, they showed the housemates bathing and gauged the reactions of Africans. They got their response, so it was pulled off and made available to only those that paid more to see them naked. They also studied the number of people that wanted to see them naked. Yes BIG BROTHER was a dream come true, studying the lab animals, giving them the necessary tests when needed and make billions from it as they studied. THIS IS BIG BROTHER.
Well, if you just finished reading that, that’s my personal big brother theory. From the first day i got to watch it years back, this has been it. So, what do you think; am i right? Have you ever sat down or paused for a minute to think about it? What’s your theory?  BIG BROTHER IS WATCHING YOU.

Friday, September 6, 2013

T.M.S SIGHTS!

T.M.S' Finding Teen Me, has come and gone but the impact lingers. Below are some pictures from the event organized by THE STIMME COMPANY. Enjoy!

                                                                 REGISTRATION ONGOING
                                                                                 DJ FLAMES
              FRANCES OKEKE WITH THE SPEAKERS; KEHINDE ABIOYE AND ADELEKE DAVID
                     RED CARPET HOST, ERIC NWANSO WITH THE DIRECTOR, TOPE LAWANSON.
              FACILITATORS, AZEEZAT SANNI AND CECILIA OGBONNA, REGISTERING A TEEN.
                                                                ERIC NWANSO


                                                       Teens getting their red carpet interview by Eric.



                                          ANOTHER SPEAKER, OLABOLUDELE SIMOYAN (AUNTIE BOLU)


                                                 MR SUNNY, DROPPING OFF HIS KIDS.











         The speakers: Dele Ayo Bankole, Kehinde Abioye, Olaboludele Simoyan and Adeleke David.




                             The Celeb guests ; Actors Paul Utomi and Felix Omokhodion.


                                                                    Felix Omokhodion
                                              Florentina Okeke and Kingsley Okeke

                                                            Typical teen behavoiur.

                                                               Kehinde Abioye

                                                            Turning Point Crew



                                                        Question and answer time.
                                                           Dele Ayo Bankole


                                                    The Transformed Generation Crew







                                             Felix Omokhodion  gets interviewed by a teen



                                                              Oaney Sings
                                                             Teen answering a question.
                                               Auntie Bolu getting the teens involved.




                                                         Paul Utomi in the hot seat.

                                                               Paul Utomi
                                                   Teens filling out their questionnaires





                                             
                                                  Some teens, speakers, facilitators and guest.
                                                           Frances with some speakers







                                                            Some Facilitators
                                          Frances Okeke, Cecilia Ogbonnah and Chinenye Jibunoh
                                                          Some teens and facilitators.



Featured Post

YOU ARE NOT WORTH IT

    I was with a friend who uttered the words ‘Frances, nobody is worth it.’ I looked at this my friend that I had tried to show ‘you ar...