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Sunday, October 2, 2011

MAGUN!

(a lil something to elevate my independent day blues. what were we celebrating, really? The Tvs,radios,papers etc have said it all. What can i say that they haven't so enjoy the lil piece of fiction if you will.) The holidays were back. Sandra had travelled to the US for the summer, Gladys was visiting her aunt at Kaduna. I was home alone. My siblings were not around so I was the help in the house, I am not lazy but I was already counting the days to resumption. Out of the blues came entertainment for my imagination one day. It is about my neighbours, The Popoola’s. I had met the wife on numerous occasions thanks to my help status. I was washing my mum’s clothes when I heard the screaming ‘Help!’ ‘SOMEBODY HELP US.’ The noise was coming from Tunde’s apartment; he was a young banker, a handsome one at that. At first, I thought there were robbers in the vicinity; I rushed to lock the gate. The screams were persistent and wrenching, I ran to Mr Ani’s house to alert him. A couple of us gathered and ran to the apartment. The door was locked so we broke it down. Nothing and no one could have prepared me for what I saw that day; Mrs Popoola was on top Tunde. That was not the issue, they could not come off each other, they were stuck like glue. She was screaming, she was in pain. We decided to take them to the hospital. If it were I in their situation, my shame would know no bound. On the way, Pa Adamu, stopped us and said we should call Mr Popoola that he had the solution and not the hospital. He really did. At the end of the day, after narrating the incident to my mum, the whole neighbourhood was abuzz with the event. From what I heard and saw from different sources, this is what I believe is the real story. Very exciting and strange but true. See how it plays out in my head. Femi is a man of 40yrs. He was not married. He later gets married to a woman of 26 called Funke. They have a house of their own and they live together. Femi is a business man, he leaves very early in the morning and comes back around 11 pm at night. He rarely has time for his wife. He does not satisfy his wife fully emotionally and sexually although he provides her with enough money. His wife is a housewife, not that it was her choice, her husband insisted on it. One day, a new neighbour moves into the neighbourhood. His name is Babatunde jackson.He is a bachelor, a good-looking one at that. One day, Funke and Tunde’s path cross. They meet at a neighbour’s party. As usual, her husband was nowhere to be found. They got talking and discovered they shared lots of mutual interest, they had even attended the same university and they had certain chemistry between them. A week later, Tunde decides to go and visit his friend and neighbour Funke. He gets there and meets Funke crying. She is crying because of her husband’s unattentiveness to her. He tries to console her and the next thing they fell into each other’s arms and made love. This started their affair. Femi notices the changes in his wife’s attitude. He confides in his friend Kunle, who suggests to him that he should perform magun on her. Kunle takes him to a native doctor, who gives him a broomstick and tells him to drop it somewhere his wife will pass, once she walks over the broomstick, if she attempts to make love with another man, they (she and the man) will stick together as though glue was applied. He gets home and places it on the entrance of their bedroom and she crosses it without knowledge of it. Funke meets with Tunde and they get down to business. He enters her and after their romp in his bed, he discovers he cannot come out of her again. He screams, she screams, neighbours rush in and discover them, naked and joined to each other. They rush them to the hospital but no help. An old man suggests they look for the husband and beg him that he believes he did magun on his wife, if not they would die. They searched for Femi could not find him so they call him on phone. Femi finally comes home and the neighbours plead with him that he should forgive the duo that they are at the point of death. He listens and re-does the magun and the two bodies separate. i saw a movie on this when i was younger 'THUNDERBOLT'. so, it is real? i kept pinching myself. The shame was too much for the duo.Tunde left the neighbourhood and Funke returned to her parents’ house. Well, nice story isn’t it or what do you think? If you ask me that is utter nonsense, i.e. the magun stuff. It is only a man with inferiority complex and not sure, of himself that would stoop so low and wicked. INSECURITY is the word. Let's add obsession to that. Ol’ boy, if you do not want to enjoy your wife’s traffic allow another to do the job for you, please. Body no be wood o! She is a human and needs the attention especially because she is a woman. It is not love, forget what your twisted little mind decides to tell you and it will tell you it is also your culture. Magun is still practised in Africa.. It is seen as a way of preventing women from being unfaithful. Can you imagine it is still practiced in this present modern day and time? The holidays now has a little spice at least. I cannot wait to tell the girls all about it. I had to tell you fiirst. Cheers!

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